Friday, March 27, 2009

Si-Si To Start-Start Both-Both Openers

For the record: We love, adore, worship, idolize, lust after and clamdig CC Sabathia... Ace o' the Staff, Face o' '09, the man nobody accuses of juicing or dating card-carrying AARP Sunset Boulevard, baby-stealing nutjobs.

So why not have him usher in the new crib?

Think of him as our brand new $40 Braun coffeemaker, with automatic one-cup brew-frother, permo-filter, latte setting and drip-guard. Why have guests standing with cups in hand, while the old machine gasps its last rattle? Why not show off the dazzling new glamor?

Trouble is, the old machine was Mr. Coffee - yeah, you know who I'm talking about, Joe D! -- and the new machine isn't.

Somewhere back in the Ice Age of 2008, I just got it in my mind that Andy Pettitte deserves more than a scoop of stadium dirt, a Dollar Store handshake and a $5 million pay cut.

He should start the opener. And everybody knows it.

You know it. I know it. Pettitte knows it. Sabathia knows it. You're nodding. I can see it. Everybody knows it.

Why is this?

Well, Grasshopper, it is hard to explain. But I'll try. The Yankees are not a team. They are a tradtion. They originated Old Timers Day. They retire an embarrassingly high number of jerseys. They practically own Cooperstown. The new players -- Sabathia, Teixeira, et al -- for the rest of their lives, they will be known as "former Yankees."

But they aren't yet.

When the stadium opens, Andy Pettitte should be there.

You know it. Girardi knows it. God knows it. WTF?


I'm Bill White said...

Why not sign Whitey Ford and Yogi to 1-day contracts and have them work the first inning?

She-Fan said...

Si-Si is starting because, as Jeter would say, "We just need to win games." Every. Single. Game.