Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Yankeetorial: Be it boiled or cooked, the bitter meat of loss doth make a tough and tasteless stew

It shall hurt forever. The scalding pain shalt not leave me, whilest in this death-filled life. WHY DID JOE LEAVE NOESI IN SO LONG? I was screaming at the television person, "Remove the bungler, Mr. Joe! Hector has forgotten the strike zone! What in the name of Christine O'Donnell are you trying to prove?"

Did he hear? Oh, no. And now, last night's dreadful, unchewable loss lies upon my dinner plate, like the tongue of a circus beast -- demanding to taste me, while I taste it. That catch by Desmond Jennings in deep left field: It plays on a tape loop in my personal hell! Dammit. How could we lose! We had them by two. 

Across the Yankiverse today, one universal pinprick of thought outduels all others: We MUST win tonite! Defeat is NOT an option. No, SIR. As soon as gametime arrives, we've got to leap upon the Rays, and claw our spurs into their flanks, HARD! We've got to hit like never before! Once we get them inside the chalk lines, we must show them who is boss... and snatch the sweet-smoked bacon of victory from their razor jaws. Tonight! Ohhhhhh, yes, vengeance shalt be ours!


Anonymous said...

Beware the juju!

Anonymous said...

A fabulous juju! Nay! A miraculous juju !!!