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Thursday, June 21, 2018

"Walkero delenda est!"

Back a couple years before my time, it was recorded that after the Second Punic War, Cato the Elder began ending his every speech before the Roman Senate with the phrase, "Carthago delenda est!"

That is, "Carthage must be destroyed!"

He would say this even when his whole speech had been about something else, and everybody in Rome had just had a perfectly nice day, still buzzing over how their favorite javelin-and-net guy had scored an amazing comeback win over that hammer-wielding Thracian in the gladiatorial games the day before.

Cato may have been elder, but he wasn't stupid. He saw that the looming problem for Rome had not gone away.

Thus, on the morning of a daytime away game when a certain Neil "Larry" Walker is likely to play, I can only repeat:

"Walkero delenda est!"

All right, "destroyed" may be a bit harsh.  Anyone know the ancient Latin for, "Walker must be heaped with riches and sent politely on his way"?

Also, in fairness, it's not like Walker is trying to destroy us.  It more like Hannibal had led his elephants over the alps...and then just hung around for months on one of those eating divans the Romans had.

"Great Zeus, Hannibal, have you seen these provender charges???"

"Yeah, well, you know elephants always love seconds. Oh, and Jumbo is sorry about that rare Etruscan vase. But, hey, he's a pachyderm, and they don't know an Etruscan from a toucan. Meanwhile, how is it you folks can make wine like this, anyway? I know, I know:  just plant some vines and then wait four hundred years! How about another goblet full, maybe a little less water this time? And some more of those figs? Wait, what are you doing with that javelin—"

You get the picture. Time for Neil to go back over the Alps from whence he came.



10 comments:

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


I would like to suggest an IIH poll --

"Who is the most annoying Yankee (major league roster) right now? Larry Walker or Chasen Shreve?"

Write-in votes might be allowed

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


. . . msybe you might make that NEIL Walker......

KD said...

I vote for Shreve, this year's Tyler Clippard. what a bone-headed move by Boone, bringing him in to hang two runs on the rookie.

TheWinWarblist said...

Shreve, damm his syphilitic eyes and supporating hands.

TheWinWarblist said...

TheWinWarblistJune 21, 2018 at 1:28 PM

Don't look now but the Yanks are up 4-0 and we're not out of the bottom of the first.

Leinstery said...

The looming problem is this team's inability to score any other way except the 2 run HR. Romine only struck out because the bases were loaded; the laws of the universe state that if the Yankee's are to score it must be by the HR and only if there is exactly 1 other man on base. This is also why Stanton was robbed, no one on base means God keeps that ball from leaving the park.

TheWinWarblist said...

Fascinating theory. Nutsy kookoo but fascinating.

TheWinWarblist said...

Ahhhh! Ahhhh! I saw Larry's OPS! I SAW LARRY'S OPS! IT BURNS! AHHH! MY EYES, MY EYES!!!!

TheWinWarblist said...

Not the blowout that I was hoping for alas. Nevertheless ... TheWinWarblist CUTS AND PASTES HaaHaahaahahaha-AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
AAAA-AA-Ahh-AHHH-AAAHHHHH-AAaAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHaaaa-ah-ah-ah-aaaaaaaaAaAaHaHaHaaaAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!

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