The Yankees have a secret formula for finding hitters... but it doesn't work for pitching

Last night - in the middle of a game that was never a game - the Death Star-owned courtiers of YES saluted the team's front office with a graphic of the studly no-names that the team magically picked from the scrap heap. 

Along with the now legendary Mike Tauchman, the list included Gio Urshela, Luke Voit, Cameron Maybin and - thinking ahead - Breyvic Valera. When given an opportunity, each took an Uber out of Palookaville to save his endangered MLB career. No matter what happens, each will forever be able to earn Pabst money by sitting in an airport Ramada and signing glossies. This year, they earned pinstripes, forever.

Actually, the house graphic could have included the Orioles best position player this year - Hanser Alberto, who is hitting .316 with 6 HR. Amazingly, the Yankees held him briefly last winter, before jettisoning him in a roster crunch. It's simply worth noting that, back in December, somebody in the Yankee brain pool flagged Alberto's name. They knew... 

Like those radar plans that fly over the Yucatan and spot ancient Mayan cities obscured by the jungle, the Yankees have somehow managed to identify emerging talent that other teams don't see. (I'm betting that Baltimore signed Alberto based on the fact that the Yankees were interested in him.) For that, Brian Cashman's front office truly deserves credit. What a year for waiver pickups.  

Unfortunately, this superpower does not extend to pitching, which may be the front office's downfall. 

If you look at the scrap heap pitchers signed by the Yankees in recent years, there is no equivalent to Tauchman/Urshela/Voit/Maybin. 

First, let's ponder Jonathan Loaisiga - Johnny Lasanga - whom the Yankees picked up three years ago and have constantly touted. He's still only 24 and may yet arrive. Thus far, though, injuries continually crush him, and he is starting to look like one of those little guys who throws too hard for his own good. He's now rehabbing, but recently failed to get out of the first inning in a minor league start. It sure would be nice if he made it. And it sure would be a surprise.

Then there is the 31-year-old lefty, Rex Brothers. He's been mired in Scranton. Doesn't look good. Last spring, there was the comeback attempt of Danny Farquhar, now retired. The Yankees briefly tried 33-year-old Gio Gonzalez, then let him go. Bad idea? Maybe. He's 2-1 with the Brewers, an ERA of 3.68. There was 28-year-old Drew Hutchinson. Nope. 

They did find the journeyman David Hale, and certainly Domingo German has emerged. But last winter, the Yankees did what they've always done for pitching: Sign aging walruses to short deals and trade for a "power arm" who who has injury issues. Both JA Happ and James Paxton have underwhelmed. (Let's not count CC; he's a legacy signing.) 

And there are the ones that got away. Caleb Smith - whom we traded to the Marlins for the now injured Mike King - has become one of Miami's best starters. He is 7-5 with an ERA of 3.35. You could argue that if the Yankees kept Smith and Gonzalez, they'd be better off. But I'm inclined to cut the team some slack. Nobody in baseball can figure out pitching. Look at the Redsocks - with Sale, Price and Porcello - who knew?

My guess: Somewhere with the Yankee tower of darkness, there is an old scout or an analytics dweeb still muttering about the owner's refusal to ante up for Dallas Keuchel. He's the free agent pitcher that miserable Hal Steinbrenner scorned in favor of a few thin dimes. Keuchel has now started 9 games with Atlanta - and in four, including his most recent, he's pitched into the seventh. But when given the chance to improve his team, Food Stamps Hal sat on his bejeweled silken purse. 

If the Yankees, for all their recycling magic, botch the 2019 World Series, all the magic will fade. But know this: It will be Hal, not the front office, who gets a frosty winter full of IT IS HIGH blogger spittle.