The Forbes valuation and Evil Empireness

Here's the thing about the Yankees' $5 billion Forbes valuation. The next highest valued team is the LA Dodgers--AND WE'RE WORTH 47% MORE THAN THEY ARE.

That's crazy. We should have the gaudiest collection of all-star players ever assembled on a single team. We should throw money at everyone who looks good and sort it out later. Instead, we play Shoppin' the Scrapheap.

After

Before

Today, ESPN informed me that it's the 107th anniversary of the Highlanders becoming the Yankees, the most storied team in sports.

It was also pointed out in a short  "Evil Empire" article that the Yanks have 27 rings, more than any other team by far, yadda yadda yadda. 

The thing is, they won 20 by 1962. That means 7 WORLD SERIES TITLES IN 57 FUCKING YEARS. 

And when you remember that four of those seven came via the great late-90s team, that's pretty damn sparse.

We may or may not be evil, but no way in hell we're an empire. I don't count a team as an empire when they're 7 for the last 57. Heinz's product lineup is more consistent than that.

We were an empire, many many many years ago, and a little mini-empire for a handful of seasons 20 years ago. But calling the Yankees an empire is like calling Moldova a superpower. It's ridiculous. (By the way, I worked across the street from the Moldovan embassy for a while, the saddest, shabbiest looking place, on an out-of-the-way side street.)

And in truth, the only evil thing about this non-empire is the mega-billionaire skinflint in the corner office. The penny pincher. The coupon clipper. The garbage picker. Never an emperor.


P.S. I also saw that Mark Reynolds is retiring. The Yankees are listed as one of a bunch of teams he's been with over the past five seasons. I honestly don't recall that, at all. Did he ever get in a game? One thing, I bet he came pretty cheap.