Sunday, April 19, 2020

Reggie thinks the coronavirus is God's way of shaking the tree

Reggie Jackson has sent a text message to the people of Earth, urging us to slow down and contemplate God's wisdom - and perhaps His wrath. It pops out of a recent YES Network interview, where Reggie was compelled to read his missive aloud. Texted Mr. October of the virus: 

“Hopefully this slows us down a little bit and relationships with family and friends and God are our priority while we’re here on Earth. Let us heed of this notice so that he doesn’t have to shake the trees a little bit harder the next time he wants us to realize that we might be a little bit off track."

So, if I'm getting this right, God is - (looks around) - shaking the tree? What does that mean? Is God pruning the overripe fruits of humanity? Is that what we see in the daily death toll? Humanity went off track, and thus He is systematically culling the herd? That seems a bit - well - harsh, am I right?

I don't want to pick over some old guy's words for the sake of an argument. And I think Reggie's heart is in the right place, as he continues: 

“I just kind of want to say, are we grateful for our jobs? Are we grateful for our friends and family? Do we spend enough time with our kids? Do we thank our wife for a great day? These are the things that I think about. These are the things I want to see us take notice. Are we running past the people who need help while everyone’s got a job? Look how many people now are struggling already with just 30 days of no work, three weeks of no work. Let’s be conscious of others, be conscious of who are as a nation, as a group, and certainly as a Yankee fans are certainly part of that. That’s what my concern is, the people where our home is in the Bronx.”

Reggie is right to express such sentiments, and I only wish him the best. To the day I die, I'll cherish the memory of that monstrous drive landing in the centerfield bleachers, while Charlie Hough hangs his head and contemplates eternity. That night, the juju gods were kind to him. Or maybe he was simply a great hitter. 

These days, it's nice to see him pondering the plight of regular people. 
But probably no player in baseball history had a larger ego than Reggie Jackson. He inhabited a world that revolved around him. Maybe it still does. I'm not attacking him... just sayin'. Reggie is now 73 - a tribal elder, with the right to his opinions. He's also a high-risk candidate to fall from a shaken tree. My biggest hope is that he stays safe, practices social distancing, and lives to be 103. 

But I do not believe God is now confiscating souls because we weren't praising Him enough. A little buzzer goes off when I hear people describing God's will. I believe our fate is in our hands, not His.

Hang in there, old friend. See you at Old-Timers Day. And wash your hands.

18 comments:

Local Bargain Jerk said...


If God is the one who shakes the trees a little bit harder, does that also make Him the straw the stirs the world's drink?

So much to ponder.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Perhaps at 73 he is pondering his mortality and becoming a God-fearing man. Maybe the next time Larry David ascends to heaven he will take lunch with Reggie rather than Ben Hogan.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Yes i must admit that is an extremely valid question.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Somehow, Donald Trump wrote a comment and pasted my name to it. I never. wrote the above comment.

JM said...

Reggie's take reminds me of something my brother, an avid believer in "Ancient Aliens," said a couple of weeks ago. The virus might be the aliens "purging" non-believers in advance of the aliens publicly returning to Earth to bless the believers with their incredibly advanced technology. Or something. Aliens apparently following the Bible pretty closely in regards to a Second Coming.

Yes, my brother really believes this is possible.

On a sadder note, a friend of over 30 years was in a nursing home for physical therapy and was transferred to New York Presbyterian hospital, testing positive for the coronavirus. He's on oxygen, but his kidneys are not working properly. The Times had a big article about this unexpected problem a number of Covid patients have developed. Seems like kidney failure can often be a part of Covid, and doctors don't really know why. It's day to day for my friend now. He either gets "over this hump" as the doctor told me, or he's lost.

With people gearing up for the country to "reopen," it just might be time to realize that nobody really knows what this virus is, what it does, and how it effects victims. I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think phasing in a return to normality will have a good result, and a lot more people are going to get sick. And some of them will die.

OK, enough of that. Back to Pauline Hickey jokes.

HoraceClarke66 said...

So sorry to hear this, JM.

All politics aside, I have trouble understanding why people can't grasp this:

It doesn't matter (so much) whether the disease itself kills more or fewer people than the flu does (although it doesn't make the flu go away, so WTF would we want ANOTHER flu?).

The real threat is, if hospital beds are full, hospital equipment is all being used, hospitals themselves become hotbeds of infections, and hospital doctors, nurses, and technicians are sick or dying...

WE ARE ALL FUCKED!!!!

How hard is this to understand? Really?

I mean this for everybody: Donald Trump, RFK, Jr. with his crazy-ass vaccine nonsense, all the conspiracy theorists and the people who see mass death as an opportunity.

What do you not understand about, "If the health care system collapses, everybody suffers"?

HoraceClarke66 said...

And poor, sweet, crazy old Reggie. 73 years old, and he still hasn't learned when to shut up.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Amen, Duque:

"They come to me and talk about God's will
ln righteous deputations and platoons,
Day after day, laymen and ministers.
They write me Prayers from Twenty Million Souls
Defining me God's will and Horace Greeley's.
God's will is General This and Senator That,
God's will is those poor colored fellows' will,
It is the will of the Chicago churches,
It is this man's and his worst enemy's.
But all of them are sure they know God's will.
I am the only man who does not know it."





TheWinWarblist said...

The only Shaking the Tree I care about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_Q79lls1f0

TheWinWarblist said...

I'm sorry for your friend JM. Yes acute kidney failure is sometimes a part of the overwhelming sepsis caused by SARS-CoV2.

Hoss, Stephen Vincent Benet. Very nice.

Anonymous said...

JM,

Sorry to hear about your friend. There really are no words.

Doug K.

el duque said...

JM,

Sending out my best juju to your friend.

13bit said...

I love you all. And yes, I can never come down on Reggie, but YES, Duque, on the whole "God's will" thing. I'll leave it at that.

And NO to athletes and celebrities sharing about current events, if at all possible, because it rarely ends well.

I had one good friend die of this so far and a few others slowly recover. Despite everything, I would not want to be anywhere but NYC at the moment.

Take care, all.

P

HoraceClarke66 said...

Yes, very sorry to hear that, Bitty. How's everybody else doing?

ALL-CAPS, you hangin' in?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Meanwhile, here's some worthwhile tree shaking:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmVusVh4TRQ

JM said...

Sorry about your friend, Bit. There's nothing fair about this virus.

Anonymous said...

13,

Just read this. Dude... (sigh). So sorry for your loss and for the whole fucking thing.

Doug K.

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