Saturday, April 11, 2020

Virtual Baseball: Yanks Rally to Nip A's. Stanton Train Missing in Washout.

The Virtual New York Yankees today rallied to beat the Oakland Athletics, 7-6, in a spirited contest at the Thunderdome.

Yanks starter Masahiro Tanaka suffered his first rough outing of season, giving up five runs in just four innings.  It looked as though Tanaka might be removed from the game when a ligament from his right arm fell out on the pitching rubber, but the Japanese hurler simply stuffed it back into his soupbone and continued.  Home plate umpire Joe West called Tanaka for a balk.

The game was decided when Miguel "El Matador" Andujar and D.J. LeMahieu hit back-to-back triples in the top of the ninth.  It was the fourth hit of the afternoon for LeMahieu, who continues to lead the young season in batting with a .385 average.

"The General's" hit only tied the game, but he subsequently scored what proved to be the winning run on a squeeze bunt by Brett Gardner.

In the bottom of the ninth, Oakland seemed on the verge of knotting the score again, but El Matador Andujar gunned down former Yankee Dustin Fowler, after Fowler led off the ninth with a single against Sweats Chapman and stole second.  Trying to score on a single by former Yankee Jorge Mateo, he was just nailed at home by Andujar's peg to the plate.

In other Yankees news today, the Amtrak passenger train, "Donner Party," carrying reformed slugger Giancarlo Stanton to Oakland, was reported missing after a flash flood and bridge washout in the Rockies.

With no word on Stanton's whereabouts, Yankees GM Brian Cashman, still recuperating from a lizard mis-recognition accident, called up centerfielder Estevan Florial to the big team.  Floral was batting .176 with no extra-base hits and 1 RBI for the Trenton Thunder, but is still consider the Yanks' no. 2 prospect.

Esteval is believed to have a high ceiling.

14 comments:

13bit said...

Hoss, you are single-handedly getting me through the Coronavirus quarantine.

You really need to assemble these in a book eventually and call it "The Lost Season"

13bit said...

You’re not clever, you’re not smart, and you’re a pathetic moron. Why you would want to impersonate us is very clear, if sad.

Donald Trump said...
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Anonymous said...
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Donald Trump said...
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Platoni said...

This team was a pitcher injury away from calamity. With Tanaka's boo-boo that calamity is nearly here. They'll start getting crushed now and they'll get wiped away by any good lineups they face.

Say goodbye to the postseason.

el duque said...

Season on the brink.

Carl J. Weitz said...

The doom and gloom is back! I love it!

I believe the commissioner said unplayed games would count toward games played for the purpose of arbitration and free agency. Hopefully, that counts toward suspensions as well. Which would mean German would be back by opening day. Also injuries to a few players including Paxton would be healed. That would give the Yankees a very decent starting 5. Cole, Tanaka, Paxton, German and Montgomery with perhaps Loaisiga as aninjury fallback.

HoraceClarke66 said...

And don't forget Hip-Hop-Happ!

13bit said...

At this point, we're better if they call the season. we can talk about it for years, books will be written, and we can enjoy Hoss's virtual season and eventual cable series about the season that never was. I'm still waiting for Stengel's reappearance as a ghost in the clubhouse.

Then, the "real" Yankees can rest and recuperate, get laid, get high, get fat and stagnate. They can all see shrinks to figure out what meaning their lives have without people hanging on their every action.

We can arrange for Stanton to take a real one-way train trip to a place from which he'll never return. There's a lot of spring cleaning and housekeeping we can do in the organization. Then, before you know it, Spring Training will roll around again. Pitchers and catchers report in March!

Play ball, everybody!

JM said...

Is someone masquerading as Bit again?

It's hard to follow. Can someone put up a brief history of Fake Bit? Thanks in advance.

Anonymous said...

My brother is the greatest imaginary baseball season writer of all time. - LittleJoe66

Anonymous said...

and don't forget Hip Hop Sing! -- LittleJoe66

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