Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Will Hal Steinbrenner really clip his hired help during the shutdown?

Well, now I've heard everything... According to the internet, 18 of the 30 MLB owners plan to pay their staffs in full during this ridiculous, overly-hyped, fake news, virus shutdown. For what? So their employees can stay at home, drink sanitizers and watch Netflix while lounging in their milk baths? Once these obese freeloaders acquire the taste of money-for-nothing, they'll never again be worth one lick of doorknob spittle. As for this rinky-dink flu - from what I hear, more people die each year in their swimming pools (thank you, Dr. Phil) - but you don't hear us torching the Constitution over that, do you? How does anyone expect an honest MLB owner to feed his family? Down in Florida, some do-gooder wannabe named Jeter even says he'll forego his $5 million salary, and put the money toward needy people. Who elected him Pope? Once these basket cases get money for free, they'll never want to work again for the minimum wage, which some people want to be more than $5 per hour! Jesus fukinay Christ, when I started, two bucks an hour was damn good pay!

Fortunately, one hero owner is holding the line against giveaways: "Hand Me Down Hal" Steinbrenner! If his Yankee staffers don't pick cotton, let them eat cake. Let's see if watching Tiger King pays the mortgage. In an act of courage, Hal thus far has refused to pay the tab for laid off scouts, managers, cabana boys and whatever - and in this "flatten the curve" world, let's be thankful that somebody still appreciates frugality. It's bad enough that they've closed the bars just because some NPR bed-wetter caught the sniffles and called a news conference to demand a free ventilator. So we bought everyone on the East Coast their own ventilator, yet they're still whining? Now, they want cotton swabs? Tomorrow, it'll be vibrating beds. Good grief, people, rise up! Money doesn't grow on trees. Look at Greece! Do we want to be Greece? If we start paying everybody for not working, we'll turn into Greece. Three times a day, Souvlaki! You'll be tending to sheep. Greece! 

And now, to top everything off, we're supposed to sit back and watch Chinese baseball? Wait a minute. Chinese flu... Chinese baseball? CONNECT THE DOTS, PEOPLE! DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT? The Rakuten Monkeys are trying to steal our Yankee thunder, even our Red Thunder. We've got to turn this around, and thank God there are still owners out there who, in a pinch, refuse to pay their staff. Surely, it will mean lower ticket prices for all of us, when the boys of summer return - any day now. 

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

"HAND ME DOWN HAL"...

BOY, THAT HAS A NICE RING TO IT.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he's cash poor. No pun. After all even if as reported the Yankees are worth five BILLION dollars it's not like they have that on hand. They would have to sell the team.

And sure the Yes network is worth another 3.5 BILLION dollars but that's because the Yankees just paid that (with Amazon and Sinclair) to buy it back so that's a couple of BILLION dollars spent right there.

So that only leaves around two BILLION dollars. You can't expect the Yankees to pay their peanut vendors, coaches, scouts etc. out of that. It might cost 10-20 million bucks. The market is down. Hank is dead. There's just a lot going on right now.

For example what if all the people who they collected money from for advance tickets decide to sue to get their money back? Well it's happening! If Hal pays his people for doing NOTHING how will he, after being forced to, give back the money he got for NOT PLAYING THE GAMES.

C'mon people. Be reasonable. If the scouts, who devoted their lives to the team for meager wages failed to save money that's on them.

Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Glad to see you back, ALL-CAPS.

HoraceClarke66 said...

"But if I were to have these slack-jawed troglodytes killed, Smithers, I would be the one to go to jail!"

"Yessir."

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Things I miss:

- Baseball
- The Yankees
- Hank
- John Sloss
- Eating out
- My barber (not Sal Maglie)

Anonymous said...

Hal's just bitter because they cut his SNAP benefits.

In the meantime, DirecTV is STILL billing me for MLB Extra Innings sub, even though there have been NO innings....someone ought to tell them - - they seem to be asleep at the switch. LB (No J)

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Oh, and i forgot to girl-tion, perhaps the most important thing i miss: -Having my willy squashed and squeezed between the incredible tits of a 17 year-old Pauline Hickey look-a-like every Saturday night as a special treat.

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