Will Hal Steinbrenner really clip his hired help during the shutdown?

Well, now I've heard everything... According to the internet, 18 of the 30 MLB owners plan to pay their staffs in full during this ridiculous, overly-hyped, fake news, virus shutdown. For what? So their employees can stay at home, drink sanitizers and watch Netflix while lounging in their milk baths? Once these obese freeloaders acquire the taste of money-for-nothing, they'll never again be worth one lick of doorknob spittle. As for this rinky-dink flu - from what I hear, more people die each year in their swimming pools (thank you, Dr. Phil) - but you don't hear us torching the Constitution over that, do you? How does anyone expect an honest MLB owner to feed his family? Down in Florida, some do-gooder wannabe named Jeter even says he'll forego his $5 million salary, and put the money toward needy people. Who elected him Pope? Once these basket cases get money for free, they'll never want to work again for the minimum wage, which some people want to be more than $5 per hour! Jesus fukinay Christ, when I started, two bucks an hour was damn good pay!

Fortunately, one hero owner is holding the line against giveaways: "Hand Me Down Hal" Steinbrenner! If his Yankee staffers don't pick cotton, let them eat cake. Let's see if watching Tiger King pays the mortgage. In an act of courage, Hal thus far has refused to pay the tab for laid off scouts, managers, cabana boys and whatever - and in this "flatten the curve" world, let's be thankful that somebody still appreciates frugality. It's bad enough that they've closed the bars just because some NPR bed-wetter caught the sniffles and called a news conference to demand a free ventilator. So we bought everyone on the East Coast their own ventilator, yet they're still whining? Now, they want cotton swabs? Tomorrow, it'll be vibrating beds. Good grief, people, rise up! Money doesn't grow on trees. Look at Greece! Do we want to be Greece? If we start paying everybody for not working, we'll turn into Greece. Three times a day, Souvlaki! You'll be tending to sheep. Greece! 

And now, to top everything off, we're supposed to sit back and watch Chinese baseball? Wait a minute. Chinese flu... Chinese baseball? CONNECT THE DOTS, PEOPLE! DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT? The Rakuten Monkeys are trying to steal our Yankee thunder, even our Red Thunder. We've got to turn this around, and thank God there are still owners out there who, in a pinch, refuse to pay their staff. Surely, it will mean lower ticket prices for all of us, when the boys of summer return - any day now.