Wednesday, February 17, 2021

Our favorite Martian deserves a new nickname: How about "Clickbait?"

The Information Superhighway buzzed yesterday after a sports site opined that Yankee prospect Jasson Dominiquez is - at age 18 - "more advanced" than Mike Trout was at the same stage of his career.

At age 12, Macaulay Culkin was more advanced than Brad Pitt. At 14, Hanson was ahead of the Beatles, and at 16, Greta Thunberg would surely beat Al Gore. 

Which brings me to the greatest revelation I've gleaned from 12 months un pandemic home arrest, clicking my way across the Internet: Did you know that former child stars don't look the same 30 years later? Holy crap! Some enterprising journalist ought to rank them! (Number 43 will absolutely BLOW... YOUR... MIND!) 

So, yesterday, from the assembly line of crapola - the NY Post on Twitter - vaulted this gem:

Let's be brief. And no link. With camps opening, Dominiquez will soon roam the streets of Tampa, drawing coos from the predatorial Lolitas who happen to be more "advanced" at their pubescent flowering than was Dolly Parton, before the equipment arrived. He will surely be entering his Prime of Miss Jean Brodie... if not Miss Jean Brodie herself.

Here is what happens when a site hypes Dominquez:

1. The site generates traffic.

2. The kid's hat size expands.

3. The prospect's fate - as a future letdown - is sealed. 

Imagine this: Unless Dominiquez turns into the greatest player of his generation - i.e. Trout - to some, he will be a disappointment.

This is terrible. Nobody should carry such a burden. If Dominiquez ever reaches the majors, or becomes a serviceable player, he will still face honking catcalls from opposing fans and ill-tempered Gammonites. 

All for a few clicks on a slow news day.

8 comments:

DickAllen1964 said...



The NEW New York Yankees:

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit!"

Alphonso said...

I assume the Yankees have assigned a person to watch over him and make certain he never comes close to an ice cream sandwich.

He could easily be superior to their consumption now than Jesus Montero was even at 26.

I think it is fair to place this dude in the category of Jackson Melion. We'll all sleep better.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Amen, Duque! Yeah, he's as much a can't-miss Yankee as Roger Repoz, Steve Whitaker, Bill Robinson, Kevin Maas, Rusty Torres, Ruben Rivera, Shane Spencer, and Marvelous Marv Throneberry.

To name a few. Of the very few who got that far.


Carl J. Weitz said...

LOLOL....funny and excellent post, Duque. I just forwarded it to the "once-in-a generation", and "the next Sidney Crosby" , Alex Lafreniere. Hmmm, in Crosby's freshman year in the NHL, he had about 50 goals and 72 assists for 122 points. Currently, in 14 games, Alex has 1 goal, no assists for 1 point. And his plus/minus is -7.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Horace....my favorite was Ross Moschitto who was fabled to run as fast as The Mick. You can buy a 1965 rookie card (signed) for $ 10.99 on Ebay. Hurry, before they are sold out!



HoraceClarke66 said...

Oh, I remember Ross Moschitto, Carl! I probably have his rookie card. And yes, Lafreniere looks like another Rangers bust, more's the pity.

It's really a shame. Just getting to the majors in any sport is such an amazing accomplishment, these guys should be venerated. But the burden of expectations can be crushing.

We really should give all the more credit to those who made it in this town despite great expectations: Joe D., May and Mantle, The Babe, etc. It's not easy.

Carl J. Weitz said...

That's what many people don't get. Playing in NYC is the toughest place to play. The fans, the media glut and for about 40 + years a mentally ill owner. Not that Hal isn't touched in the head. He just manifests it differently. If a player comes from a large metropolitan area, he or she probably has a leg up. But players coming from the cornfields or growing up on an island where you play the infield with a milk carton not knowing the language. It just puts an extra layer of burden on honing your skills.

BernBabyBern said...

I remember the first big phenom of the baseball-card boom of the late 80s, Gregg Jefferies of the Mets. That's when people started looking at "rookie cards" as a big deal, and everyone was buying up Jefferies rookie cards certain that they'd be able to put their kids through college with them someday. He actually had a halfway decent career - played more than a decade and made an All-Star team or two - but was forever labeled a "disappointment" by people who bought as many of his rookie cards as they could afford and years later were able to use them as kindling for their backyard bonfires.