Saturday, September 3, 2022

Blahhhhhhch!


Normally I wait a while before posting after El Duque’s morning thoughts but he gave me so much food for thought that I need to puke some of it out. And as we all know, when it’s got to come up, it’s got to come up.

So…


Paulie

Yeah it's too bad he's unvaccinated or he could actually sit down with the players and give them some advice or inspiration. Maybe he could  just go into the dugout when no one is there and Smash the crap out of Boone's Dubble Bubble bucket and then fungo the gum into the right field seats.

Donaldson

He's about to have a kid. Being there for the mother is the single most import... ah bullshit, I was there for the birth of my son and I still have PTSD. When I saw his head pop out of my wife's vagina it looked like a Dali painting... if Dali went to Nam.

I'm just saying this because I want Donaldson to be with his girlfriend and not on the team.

You know they say that the first two years of a child's life are the most important. Maybe he should be there for that too!

Boone

He looked like he was going to cry. I actually feel bad for him now. I still want him fired but he is a human being, albeit an incompetent over matched one, but this is bordering on tragic. Every move he makes turns to shit. 

The other night he pulls German who was dealing and the pen blows the game. Last night he keeps him in and German gives up the death blow two-run homer. 

That a three run lead is insurmountable is another story, but Boone is broken.

It’s sad. Fire him.

The Trade Deadline

El Duque forgot to mention Montgomery pitched another 7 innings of shut out ball last night.  

“Montgomery, who is now 8-3 with a 3.15 ERA, improved to 5-0 with a 1.47 ERA since being acquired from the Yankees” (NY Post)

It’s understandable. There was so much else that went wrong it’s easy to miss something. Just as an aside. Montgomery would be closing in on 20 wins if the Yankees actually hit while he was pitching. 

Dead Horse

I’m going to beat this to death but IKF is a GOLD GLOVE third baseman. Bench Donaldson and start him there. That way the two Oswalds can man the infield – you know their actual positions.  You just know Boone is going to stick Perlata somewhere else,

Bench Gleyber!   

Hey did you see him bust it out of the box last night to beat out an infield single? I guess he can hustle with his job on the line. It’s too bad he doesn’t hustle because he’s a professional baseball player.

Last... Fiasco

Everyone loves watching a fiasco. Where the bad happens with such frequency it becomes funny. We are not there yet but we are well into nightmare and heading for disaster. Fiasco is just 7-10 games away.


9 comments:

The Archangel said...

Fiasco thy name is Hal.

FUCK MILAN

AboveAverage said...

Doug:

One never wants to perish choking on their own vomit.

History has shown us this - - - so as a Saturday Morning PSA - - - PURGE away!

That said I’m beginning to believe that Boone shouldn’t be terminated until after the season - after this Barf Barge has crashed ashore.

Even if it makes us all feel bad watching Boone on the verge of turning his bubbles into tear filled sugar sacks of despair, he’s been one of the three heads of this cratering crap-show Cerberus and deserves to be the skipper of this shit-show sinker.

13bit said...

Dali...heh heh heh...said Beavis to Butthead

Bless you, Doug

BTR999 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BTR999 said...

I’m afraid there’s nothing to be done now. You know Tenibendi will be done for the year. Let’s spout a few cliches; the die has been cast, it is what it is. It doesn’t matter, does it? Boone has lost the team, the players don’t give a shit anyway.

I will say this: last night the thought of Steinscummer, Cashman, and Boone coming back for another year and having to go through this again caused me to become physically ill. Time to get out of the house, go for a long run, and revel in the late summer day, realizing how trivial this all really is. Probably won’t watch tonight, maybe some college football instead. Amazon’s prequel to The Lord Of The Rings is nothing less than stunning.

Wish you all a good day, and a better tomorrow.

Doug K. said...

born to -

Here's wishing you a bluer sky...

Some how we all left that one out when we were talking Ray Davies.

The Hammer of God said...

What was that show where stoopid people run around outdoors drinking bottles of whiskey, hitting each other with baseball bats or two by fours, and then run to the garbage can to puke their guts out? HAL, Cashman & Boone should revive that show. It'd be a helluva lot more entertaining than these 2022 Yankees.

Yankee Loss Soundtrack:

Jet:

Oh look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone

Oh, well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won


Beck:

Soy un perdador
I'm a loser baby
So why don't you kill me?

The Hammer of God said...

Aha! Found that video on youtube. It's Mad TV Kenny Rogers Jackass. Who knew getting drunk, throwing up, beating each other with bats, and electrocuting with cattle prods was so much fun? I'd pay good money to see HAL, Cashman and Boone doing their version of Jackass. Hope they kill one another!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Right on, Doug! Brilliant!

One thing: don't feel TOO bad for Boone. He's a multi-millionaire married to a former Playboy model with a heart of gold. He'll be okay.