Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Chirp of Hope: Juju Bird flies in from Rally Land to save Yankee hides

Forget the Juju Intervention, the Juju Sex Tape and the Juju death of beloved celebrities (Barry Commoner, R.I.P.), there's a new Juju Sheriff in town, and it's the 12th inning Yankee Stadium Juju Bird!

Last night, a persistent rain of pop-ups and double-play balls had lasted nine innings, until Raul "So Cool" Ibanez homered to tie the game, setting the stage for the newest star in the Gotham Constellation: Juju Bird.

Our feathery fairy of fan fantasies roosted at second base, where Robbie Cano has been the hottest Yankee in recent days. A friendly grounds crew attendant came out with a plastic bucket. (This is how Yankees deal with birds, I guess.) Juju Bird was scooped up several times during a quick visit to shortstop to bless Yankee MVP Derek Jeter.

Then, with the lightning speed of Brett "Go Ahead, Try to Pick Me Off, I Dare You" Gardner, Juju Bird flew toward the Yankee dugout, where he annointed Frankie Cervelli and "So Cool" for their soon-to-arrive heroics.

Yes, it's Juju Bird, this year's Lucky Squirrel, coming soon to Steiner Collectables! Get yours now! Final note: The Master's WinWarble last night came in at 7.61 seconds - that's solid - but I couldn't get it to load on Blogger. Oh well. Big game tonight, eh.


Community Relations Dept. said...

Ever since Winfield nailed that pigeon in Toronto, the bird community has been agitating against us. Thanks to several public-service appearances by Frankie "The Hawk" Cervelli, who is generous with his sandwich remains at NY Thruway rest stops, we have finally smoothed this relationship over.

John M said...

The horror! The outrage! The negative juju that might have befallen us if that idiot groundskeeper had succeeded in stomping on the poor little winged savior.

Who would try to do such a thing? Was that guy trained by Winfield?

joe de pastry said...

Advice to grounds crew: Next time take a lid out there with the bucket, capture bird, place lid on bucket, release bird into visiting manager's office.

Tom from GA said...

laughing out loud, Joe. Thanks!

el duque said...

Yeah, Joe. Why didn't anybody else think of that?

Also... late joke thought;

Chick Fil-Arod.