When you fail to pinch hit for Arod, you need to let off steam

When you need to let off steam, you get an eye patch.

When you get an eye patch, people think you're tough.

When people think you're tough, you try to be funny in a weird chair.

When you try to be funny, you end up drinking Captain Morgan.

When you drink Captain Morgan, you meet Andre Dawson.

When you meet Andre Dawson, you try to be young again.

When you try to be young again, you roam the streets and meet the wrong guy.

When you meet the wrong guy, you end up in a ditch.

Don't end up in a ditch. Pinch hit for Arod. And use the right person.