Monday, June 17, 2013

For the Yankees, it's all so Chien-Ming Wrong

I understand why we let him go. If you love someone, and you are destined to only bring pain to them - like Lon Chaney or that Wolverine guy in the X-men movies -  it's the only thing you can do.

So we let Chien-Ming Wang go to Toronto - we just sat there at the kitchen table, trying not to cry, staring into the whiskey bottle, while he filled his duffel, walked to the door, turned one last time to give us a smile... and marched out of our lives. 

And we have sucked door knobs ever since.

Two weeks ago, we were so knee-deep in pitching that we didn't even make Wang a counter offer. Nope. We had Vidal Nuno (now injured), Adam Warren (now in Scranton) and the emerging nation known as Michael Pineda (who pitched really well in his simulated game, I mean, Cashman says he was dealing, it might have been a shutout, one of the finest simulated games pitched all year, a quality start, no doubt) and we have Chris Bootcheck as our long man. Wow. That sounds like something Jack Nicholson would type in a Stephen King movie. Chris Bootcheck as our long man... Chris Bootcheck as our long man.Chris Bootcheck as our long man.Chris Bootcheck as our long man. Chris Bootcheck as our long man. Chris Bootcheck as our long man. Chris Bootcheck as our long man. Chris Bootcheck as our long man. Chris Bootcheck as our long man. Chris Bootcheck as our long man.

Sorry about that. What the? I can't escape the font! IT'S HAPPENED: I'm stuck in a Stephen King movie! It's called "WANGSTARTER." It's about a pitcher who makes a deal with the devil; he'll make a comeback with his old team, but they throw him overboard, and he comes back as a ghost to cut off their heads. Wait: That's no movie. That's it. That's now. Chris Bootcheck IS our long man. And Chien-Ming Wang last night threw seven shutout innings for Toronto. Seven shutout innings. We should have him. Everybody knows this. He should be pitching for us. God knows this. Everybody knows this. We watched him pack his bags. We watched him walk out the door. We ran to the window and watched the cab take him to the airport. Why didn't somebody say something? Why didn't somebody stop him? Swept in Oakland. Nearly swept in Anaheim. 

We're never going to get another shot at Chien-Ming Wang making a comeback with the Yankees. Chris Bootcheck is our long man. 

Chris Bootcheck is our long man.
Chris Bootcheck is our long man.
Chris Bootcheck is our long man.
Chris Bootcheck is our long man.  


Anonymous said...

Hey Yankee fans. You think I am as giving as Tito to his brother Michael in Neverland or in stage- go get your own tissues you bunch of whining hypocrites who would take
George back from the dead in a heart beat !!!
Sucks to be mortal as A rod found out after his schlonh was laughed at by Madonna and Something about Mary!!

Anonymous said...

Name the Brilluant William Peterson film with Wang Chung music.
By the way who wore 52 on Steelers?

Anonymous said...

Thank god we are not in the 50s some B director would make a film with Joba as an Indian mistreated written by David Letterman hacks who should be on the street getting a new gig.
Joba Chamberlain could be the next Roman Gabriel in a time warp to 50s or just a guest spot on chuck Lorre

Tim Burke, RHP said...

"TO LIVE & DIE IN L.A." Back to Indy, baby . . . . .

Roman Gabriel said...

#52 on the Steelers? Satan!

Anonymous said...

William Peterson wore a steeler jersey in Wang Chung LA video directed by the director of French Connection...Go Mets arms kids and scalp the Braves
The Upton brothers should have a long mutual slump between them
Yup. Davy Johnson looks like he did in 1987. Deer in headlights looks !

John M said...

What in hell is going on with the initial caps in these comments? Can't anyone type around here?

And since when is a Wang Chung video a 'William Peterson film'?

Roman Gabriel in the 50s? Wtf?

Duque,transport me out of here. This planet is breaking up.

Alphonso said...

So why do you say, " that Cashman is no fool," and that he is relentless?

He was a fool to let Ching Ming go ( you even predicted that stupid move ) and he is relentless in signing players that are mediocre and old.

I think he is disgraceful when he can't spend unlimited amounts of money on the Steve Trout's of the world, once they become free agents.

We have developed no one, and no one in the Yankee system, anywhere, can possibly become more than a Dave Adams, a solid .220 hitter who is already 27.

In addition, for some reason, when we bring guys up they just strike out.