Friday, June 14, 2013
Posted by Alphonso at 4:15 PM
Secret phone rings in the office of Hal Steinbrenner: Chirp, chirp, chirp...
Hal, this is Brian. I need to talk to you about Joe.
Hal; ok. But use code words for Chrissake, you have no idea who might be listening in!
Brian; Joe called me at 4;12 am from Oakland and reminded me that Tex and Yuke were about 0-16 with 8 strikeouts.
Hal; that is an early phone call. What time was it in Tampa?
Brian: Who gives a shit? Listen to this; Joe thinks the Yankees would do better with Overbay at first, Ichiro in right and Adams at third !
Hal; Jesus! Even the dumb-ass Mets wrote me that Ike Davis was hitting better than Tex when they sent him to the Vegas proving grounds. So what are you telling me?
Brian; How's it going to look if we sit down $20 million in assets and replace them with $786,112 in assets? And play better baseball? This is a nightmare, and could become a national scandal...
Hal; Friggen A, you've got me there. If we sit these dudes down, we'll look like total assholes who have no idea what we're doing!! It's worse than when we drafted number one that kid who told us he was going to UCLA, and he did!
Brian; Exactly. Money talks in baseball and everywhere else. It is the American way. So what can I tell Joe?
Hal: Tell him to re-screw his head on straight and keep playing the superstars. Tell him I won't have some cheapskate ballclub playing better baseball than these 1%'ers ! I don't care if we get blown out on the entire road trip.
The only way we can et them out of the line-up ios if another injury should occur. Or some type of moral turpitude. Hmmm.. I could make some calls.
Brian; Thanks, Hal. I knew you'd see it my way. I'll suggest that Joe tell the media that baseball is a difficult game to predict, and that we have full confidence in our superstars.
One more thing: that dirtbag Alphonso predicted, way back when we were in first place, that the Yankees would get worse when our injured " stars " returned. How can I get him off our case?
Hal; Send him four free tickets to the Goldman Sachs box at the stadium and a bottle of Crown Royal. WTF does he know?
By the way, what time is it?