Sunday, June 23, 2013
Posted by el duque at 8:48 AM
Write this down: The worst thing that ever happened happened on June 2, 2013.
That day, as Kim and Kanye prepared to birth their devil child and Americans began their snoopy eavesdropping on the privacy of the National Security Agency - which has secretly thwarted dozens of terrorist plots. (I can relate because - well - I too have thwarted several) - the Yankee season, and perhaps the Yankee empire, collapsed.
Ever since that date, when the Yankees allowed Chien-Ming Wang to sign with Toronto, we have been adrift, while our losses have been piling up like apologies from Paula Deen.
Yesterday, Wang again pitched into the seventh inning, and Toronto again won. Their season has turned. Canada, which can't even win in hockey, is smiling again. Why? Because we thought - bogusly - that we had so much pitching - no, too much pitching - that we didn't need another solid major league starter. No, when we got up in the middle of the night to pee, we were stepping on pitchers - they were infesting Yankee Stadium. Everywhere you looked, there were pitchers - in the refrigerator, in the showers, behind the water cooler - oh, we needed to get rid of them.
And, of course, Phil Hughes was doing so well! Why, he was on the cusp of regaining his All-Star touch. And the "kid," Vidal Nuno had been sent to Scranton despite pitching so well, and then there was Michael Pineda, who's motto is "Always on the way!" Oh, the last thing we needed was a former great Yankee pitcher who was trying to make a comeback with his old team.
Now, we're waiting for Ivan Nova, which is like waiting for bunion surgery.
Chien-Ming Wang is pitching for the Blue Jays. Gah. That's all I can say. Gah.