The Yankees have signed Ian Clarkin, the high school lefty whose pre-draft, speed-dating, up-close-and-personal, just-me-being-me video made it clear that he hates, hates, hates one team: the despicable New York Yankees.
Frankly, I find this refreshing. First off, we've signed so many bums over the years, and the first thing they blather is how much they loved the Yankees, back in the glory days of - what - Horace Clarke?
Secondly, if it mattered what kids think, Bryce Harper would be a Yankee now - instead of when he's 37 and arthritic.
The only concern is that this is the second first-round Yankee pick in recent years to be named Ian. (It would really scare me if we had a second Cito or two Slades.) The last Ian - Kennedy - turned out to be pretty good - for the Diamondbacks. Hopefully, we keep this Ian - even if just to mess up his Yankee-hating head.
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3 comments:
Ironic, indeed.
But a pick that will help the Yankees by playing well in pinstripes?
Not a chance in hell.
Frankly, what Yankee fan would pay good money to see some jerk who proclaims that his best baseball memory was when Luis Bleeping Gonzalez got that bloop hit to beat Mariano (you really knocked the shit out of that baseball, Luis)? Admittedly, this is Reserve Clause era thinking. But I don't care how well Ian Clarkin pitches. I don't like him, and the adolescent prick doesn't deserve to wear pinstripes. So your dad is a Pirates fan, eh, Ian Clarkin? What a coincidence. My greatest desire is to bone Bill Mazeroski up the ass for being a fuckin' wise guy. Need I mention who Jeter rooted for when he was a kid? Shove it, Ian Clarkin. Really- do we want this kid sitting in the Yankees dugout?
Don't worry, Ralph....
I promise you that this ass hole will be long into recovery from arm surgery before he ever wears the Yankee's NY anywhere.
And he will see the Bronx less often than Andy Brackman.
A wasted pick in every sense.
He won't be sitting in the Yankees dugout. Ever.
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