Friday, June 7, 2013
Posted by el duque at 7:36 AM
On that note, let's welcome Eric Holder and our good friends from the National Security Administration.
See that pen on your desk? It's a camera. Right now, you're being watched by Joe Biden, who has a drinking game going: he does a shot of Crown Royal every time you scratch your nose.
In times of despair, I think nobody reads this blog. Now, I know the NSA is with me! Hopefully, they're convinced - correctly, by the way - that this blog is a secret terror network code thing, and you - yes, you - are my sleeper cell robots, awaiting my signal to wreak havoc. We use code words... such as Joba and Juju... and when Phil Hughes pitches well, it's a call for Yankee fans to run amok, unscrewing salt shakers in diners and flushing toilets until municipal water systems explode. Yes, we seem to be a harmless Yankee fan blog. We seem to be fans of John and Suzyn. But something's not right. No, there is a dark side to this site.
Right now, I can imagine a team of NSA operatives in a war room with IT IS HIGH pictures tacked to the wall. At the top, there is a question mark. Who is Mr. Big? Sterling? He's always had an anti-social bend. What if he's gone mad, and he's directing Yankee fans through his "fake blog" to undermine the U.S. government? Do they need another mole?
Yes, another infiltrator. For some time now, I've been suspicious of you, and you, and YOU. One of you reading this is an NSA spy. Your comments have given you away. You are too clever. Is it you, Anonymous? Or you, Anonymous? Show yourself, master of deceit! No... better yet... keep reading. But from now on - and only the truest IIH operatives will understand this - we are bringing down the Cone of Silence and going into Double Secret Reverse Meaning Word Code.
We are orfay and oyah since the ujujay interventionay. Hirokijay Rodakay is itchingpay onighttay.
Power to the Yankees. Unleash the Kraken. Let the quick brown fox jump over the lazy dog. Going for five and oh, baby, five and oh!