Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Spoiler Alert: Lyle Overbay can't play right field and Youkilis is a shambling shadow of himself

Last night, the Evil Empire didn't look so evil. Forget the 6-4 score. That was us covering the spread. We pulled four runs from the garbage bag in the late innings, then left just enough runners on base to keep fans from getting to sleep. All we accomplished was saving Mo for a night, and forcing them to use their closer. Hooray.

I never thought I would say this, but we miss Ben Francisco. That is, an OF in the OF. We stick Lyle Overbay in right, knowing he cannot play right, out of respect for his citizenship and commitment to the Yankiverse. For his work on behalf of the Yankee ownership charity, he deserves a Rolex and celebrity roast hosted by the electrified corpse of Dean Martin. When a fly ball doinks down in front of him - the first of many, as this bizarre experiment continues - there's nobody to blame, because - after all - we have a firstbaseman playing right.

But wait: We have a firstbaseman playing 3B, too - although he's hitting like Ben Francisco. Kevin Youkilis is teaming with Vernon Wells to become a RH-hitting duo as exciting to the Yankiverse fans as Brooks and Shields are to the PBS News Hour. This is like some Mark Twain short story about a deal with the devil: For 10 years, I've been waiting for Youkilis' to fall apart; it's finally happening, while he's a Yankee.

Wells might get hot again - he was in April - but it's becoming clear that he is like that roller coaster that got hauled into ocean by Hurricane Sandy: I'm not sure we want to try riding it again. If I were an opposing manager, when the Yankees come to town, I'd call up every lefty in the system, even if I had to go to Sarasota to find them.

Between Overbay, David Adams, Youkilis and Teixeira, you might think the Yankees have the infield corners covered. Nevertheless, we still see Jayson Nix occasionally playing 3B. I am at a loss to explain this to children. It's like the way Milo Milobender in Catch-22 orchestrated the market for chin straps - it's too confusing.  I'm waiting for Jayson Nix to play first.

OK, I get rattled when the Yankees lose the way they did last night. This was a nine-inning beating, a loss never in doubt from the first pitch, being shut down by a guy we threw overboard two years ago, thinking we'd rung out the last droplets of testosterone from his gonads. (Well, that's another issue.) Then again, we were shut down a month ago by Freddy Garcia. Why not Bartolo? Be thankful Sidney Ponson is out of baseball. And that we're still within striking distance of everything.

But here is the best description I can give of the 2013 Yankees:

We're pretty tough when our pitchers hold the other team to two runs or less. Anything else, and we're just covering the spread.


Tom said...

I'm confused. The NY Times just told me that Lyle Overbay, a fine fellow, has lots of OF experience from college, and he even owns an OF mitt, although he likes Gardner's better. But you say he sucks. I follow the games on my computer, which shows a little blue streak when the ball is "In Play" so it's kinda hard to see if he got a good break on the ball. I will take your word for it and start wishing that we bring up Chris Dickerson -- oops, scratch that -- or somebody from the minors rather than starting another reclamation project. A big field like Oakland's is more likely to make our middle-age guys look decrepit, and those late-night West Coast are ultra-depressing when the team is coughing up a hair ball. Sometimes you just gotta go to bed grumbling.

John M said...

So many sore points, so little time.

First, Tom brings up Dickerson. I always liked Dickerson. We were fools to let him go. (On the other hand, we were right to let Francisco go.)

Nix was covering third sometimes during our run to first earlier in the season. He made some incredible plays, I know, I saw them through my fingers while covering my face when the ball was smoked his way.

Last night, once again, we were 'Aced'. Fat Man sucked. To be fair, so did Girardi. Once again, he leaves 'Ace' in there forever, long past his spoil date. Why? Saving the bullpen for what? And to be even fairer, The Great One was overused in his last start, because Joe had him pitch a complete game. What effect did that have on CC --coming back from surgery CC-- last night? He isn't good this year. Is he getting tired, too, thanks to Bullethead Joe?

Colon is a freak of nature. Speaking of spoil dates, his is coming up faster than the Road Runner in your rearview. If they keep sending him out there, he'll be 9-9 by September.

Bottom line: CC is no ace. The proof just keeps mounting. He has flashes, but so does Hughes. And we're about to trade him to the Giants for a crapshoot minor leaguer and a box of Ghiradelli.

What we need, gentlemen and ladies, is an ace. It wouldn't hurt.

YankeesHub said...

"We're pretty tough when our pitchers hold the other team to two runs or less. Anything else, and we're just covering the spread."

Isn't this what we expected from this 2013 Yankee team back in March, before we were temporarily led to believe this was some sort of offensive powerhouse?

John M said...

Anemic offense makes the ace thing that much more important. CC is fine when he has a team that scores 5 or 6 or 7 runs behind him. 2 or 3, not so much.

Like the hedge funds say, past performance is no guarantee of future success. It's all we have to go on, but he's had too many starts where he's coughed up 4 runs or more over the past year or two. We can't afford that anymore, no matter how many innings he eats.

Maybe if he ate less innings he could get a uniform that doesn't look like a circus tent.

tonyfreece said...

Another chance for the great el duque to be funny. As they say "DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB" because you don't know a frickin thing about baseball

el duque said...

Don't shush me.

KD said...

stay focused. Duque already quit his day job. and we are very happy he did.