Thursday, September 1, 2011

Feinsand: I didn't cut it

An apparition named "Mark," who happens to run blogs that pertain to the Feinsand family, and which purports to be THE Mark Feinsand, claims he didn't cut the cheese Monday night that -- as this blog has shown -- must have turned the Loew's Broadcast booth into the New York State Fair chicken barn.

Hear for yourself.

Says "Mark," or Whomever It Is:

Someone forwarded this to me after seeing it on Twitter and it's actually quite funny. The moment the noise happened, I knew someone would post something like this. I actually figured I would get a call from Boomer and Carton, who once reported vigorously on the same topic.

Here's what happened ... During the fifth inning, I am wearing headphones with a long cord that looks like an old-school spiral telephone cord. I am also holding a mic with a long, straight cord. Picture the mic cord running along side the spiral cord and the sound that would make. Now go listen to the audio again. It sounds an awful lot like someone broke wind, but in reality, it's nothing more than two cords crossing each other. Sorry to ruin the fun, but I figured I would let you know the truth and take everyone off the hook for something that never happened.

This is the crappiest denial of a fart in history. How can a beat reporter for the Yankees take on the corruption of the front office, the disunity on the pitching staff, and the impending doom of Jorge Posada... if he won't even own up to a blowout fart?

Yes, I know what you're thinking: He's covering for Suzyn.

If so, where the hell is Sterling? He's suppose to be the consumate gentleman. Sterling - I'm so mad that I'm not even calling him John - should be all over this. He should climbing to the top of the Empire State Building, yelling, "I DID IT. ITS ON ME. MARK FEISAND WAS A GUEST IN MY HOUSE, AND SUZYN WOULD NEVER UNLEASH SUCH A BEAST AS WHAT YOU HEARD. I DID IT." Where is he?

You can't predict farts. Or chivalry. Isn't it amazing?


Carlos Siilva said...

It was me.

Maya Buttreeks said...

The one who smelt it dealt it

Jack Curry said...

that story is not boring enough to be Mark Feinsand. It's a fake