Saturday, April 1, 2017

The Yankee batting order, according to ultra-scientific Wow Factor

1. Brett Gardner, LF

His legs and glove might have a year left; if not, will be repealed and replaced by Aaron Hicks or whomever rises from Scranton. No wriggle room. Wow Factor: 5.

2. Gary Sanchez, C

Anything shy of 25 homers will be a disappointment. We want him to be the next Thurman. That brings needless pressure. Wow Factor: 10.

3. Greg Bird, 1B

Another overblown sense of hope. We dream of high average AND power, a combination of Donnie and Tino. A lot to heap on a kid. Wow Factor: 10.

4. Matt Holliday, DH

His best years came at Coors Field, so forget past numbers. Still, he could be our Beltran - quality character, clutch bat, until runs into wall. Wow Factor: 6

5. Jacoby Ellsbury, CF

What's he doing, batting fifth? Plummeting, that's what. It's now or never. He'll never be Johnny Damon. But, gulp, Youk? Wow Factor: 4

6. Starlin Castro, 2B

This year will tell if he has a future with the Yankees. Big season, or he's washed away by Gleyber. Wow Factor: 6

7. Chase Headley, 3B

Nobody expects nuthing. Nada. Oh well, only place to go is up. This is his last shot in NYC. Wow Factor: 3

8. Aaron Judge, RF

Since the night he was announced, has been every Yankee fan's ultimate wet dream fantasy. Our Hondo, our Shaq, our King Kong... or our Kingman? Wow Factor: 11

9. Ronald Torreyes, SS

Can he last a month? If not, it's Pete Kozma and Chris Carter pinch-hitting after the seventh. Wow Factor: 3

1 comment:

ranger_lp said...

If Judge starts hitting, he'll move up in the batting order. Might be fun with Sanchez, Bird, and Judge in the middle of the lineup. Can't pitch around all of them.