Wednesday, August 9, 2017

HE HATE ME? MLB intends to force names on Yankee jerseys

This stinks. There is no other way to put it: THE REVOLUTION STARTS NOW! MEET ME IN THE STREETS! THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!

MLB just announced that Aug, 25-27 will be "GOUGERS PLAYERS WEEKEND," a joyous celebration of our fave athletes, in which the players' are granted their greatest wish: The chance to wear their names - or nicknames, or ad slogans, or God knows what - on the backs of their jerseys. What a joy. They can think up funny things, and MLB can then sell jersey knockoffs at ridiculous prices.

Yes, they're taking a chapter from the late and great XFL, the former pro-wrestling-run football league of 2001, whose greatest addition to the cultural fossil record is the jersey worn by Rod Smart, who wanted 'HE HATE ME" written on his back in Ebonics.  

Thing is, the Yankees have gone for more than a century without names on their jerseys. It's a - well, hmmm, what do they call it? - a TRADITION! DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND TRADITION? It used to mean something. Babe Ruth never got his name on the jersey. He was just Number 3. Mickey Mantle never got his name on the jersey. He is remembered as Number 7. Now, Todd Frazier can have his name inscribed in thread or - better yet, how about if he finally endears himself in the Yankiverse by wearing "FUCK OFF MLB" on his back. I'd buy that jersey. I'd buy ten.

So let me get this straight. The Yankees still won't be allowed to grow beards, but they will have the opportunity to shit on a 114-year tradition. Of course, the good people in places like Tampa can enjoy the possibility of seeing "RUTH" and "GEHRIG" on the backs of their players. They have no sacred tryst with the past. Whatever sells a few jerseys - fine with them. 

I remember when Bud Selig wanted Spider-Man 2 logos on the bases for a weekend. He explained that, being a traditionalist, he opposed seeing them on home plate. Old George finest hour came when he announced the Yankees would no go along with the move, which soon collapsed. MLB must have lost money on the deal. But they kept their integrity alive - surely to be sold at a higher price.

Baseball should simply sell its soul - put it up for the highest bidder - and get it over with. 



I'm Bill White said...

I guess I'll return the el duque shirt that I just ordered.

Leinstery said...

The whole concept is stupid and embarrassing. Maybe I just hate gimmicks - looking at you Jackie Robinson day - but this made me cringe with extra disgust.

The silver lining in this is Gardner's nickname on his jersey is, "Gardner". I like to believe they told him what was going on and asked for what he wanted on his jersey and he told them to get lost.

Alphonso said...

Can I get a Bobby Meecham jersey?

Local Bargain Jerk said...

I'm going to order an Balboni jersey to celebrate.

This guy Rob Manfred can be a touch tone deaf at times.

Most times.

Moeteef said...

How about these nicknames on the Yankee jerseys:

Sanchez: Buckner
Headley: Head Casely
Frazier: Red Thunder

If they're gonna do it, might as well have some fun with it.

HoraceClarke66 said...

So, Todd Frazier is really going with "The Todd-father"?

Did we need another reason to get rid of this guy?

Leinstery said...

John hates the idea, Suzyn loves it. Joggie Cano is going with "Dontcha Know" and John was flattered.

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

If the Yankees' Web site is to be believed, here's what we have to look forward to:

• Aaron Judge: "ALL RISE"
• Dellin Betances: "D. DAWG"
• Aroldis Chapman: "THE MISSILE"
• CC Sabathia: "DUB"
• Masahiro Tanaka: "MASA"
• Didi Gregorius: "SIR DIDI"
• Todd Frazier: "TODDFATHER"
• Gary Sanchez: "KRAKEN"
• Jacoby Ellsbury: "CHIEF"
• Sonny Gray: "PICKLES"

For me, Sonny wins: "Pickles" was the name of the all-too-seldom seen, bubble-headed wife of Buddy Sorrell (played by Morey Amsterdam) on "The Dick Van Dyke Show."

KD said...

Will Clint Frazier wear "SEVEN"?

Anonymous said...




Rufus T. Firefly said...

Frazier should wear "SE7EN".

I remember going to a Braves game where Andy Messersmith wore "CHANNEL" 17. Ted Fonda claimed it was his nickname. Suuuurely not a reference to WTBS.

Can one of the players have "YES" or "WPIX"?

JM said...

Moeteef for President.

All the Yankee players should refuse to do this. If forced, they should all get "Gimmick" on their jerseys.

ranger_lp said...

This is a desperation attempt by MLB to lure millennials into watching baseball.

Everyone is trying to lure millenials into watching a professional sport. Spoiler alert...they are not watching and they don't care. My son would rather play involving killing someone or stealing something on PS3 and not some boring game of baseball. Now if it's an e-sport, now you have something.

So millenials rather watch players playing MLB 2017 but not the actual baseball game in a baseball park with overpriced seats and a food bill that is horrifying. Maybe I should repeat 2017...but not the actual game it's based on....

Local Bargain Jerk said...

All the Yankee players should refuse to do this. If forced, they should all get "Gimmick" on their jerseys.

This idea is fantastic: Its dignified, to the point, and eminently doable. How do we get this idea into the hands of the players?

el duque said...

Absolutely right.

AARON GIMMICK! BRETT GIMMICK! DIDI GIMMICK! Those great Yankees from 2017!

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