Yes, Virginia, there is meaning in Florida

It's just not the kind we want. Meaning, like religious fervor, comes in spurts...

Clint Frazier - bad brain pan - is still monosyllabic from cracking his head against the left field wall two weeks ago. In the realm of meaninglessness, this is serious. It's becoming clear that he won't make opening day. Spring training will have been a wipe-out, and Red will open in Scranton. Remember that overcrowded outfield? Gone. Total bad luck. The juju gods owe this kid something better.

Jacoby Ellsbury - bad siding - has begun swinging a bat. If The Chief is ready for opening day, he'll barely have batted 10 times in Tamptown. It shouldn't matter, because he'll be riding the bench... unless we drop another OF injury. Then it will start mattering a lot. All avenues have closed for trading Ellsbury.  

Tyler Wade - bad hand - rolled his wrist yesterday diving for a ball. Management says no sweat; ignore the ice packs, he'll play Monday. But when does Yankee management ever confide with the bootless and unhorsed general public about things such as injuries? They downplayed Frazier's head and Ellsbury's cabbage-basket. This couldn't happen at a worse moment for Wade. He was on the verge of locking down second base. Now, a bad wrist, just the kind of tweak that can make a guy go 0-15. Make my words: Danny Espinosa and/or Jace Peterson will end up in that opening day lineup. Ugh.

Aaron Boone - bad attention span - accidentally forgot to tell Adam Warren to warm up yesterday, forcing Dellin Betances to pitch an extra batter, after he'd mentally checked out for the day. For now, they're laughing it off. Hardy-har-har. In all of Girardi's tenure, I don't remember such a fuck-up, even in spring training. What hath God wrought? Instead of managing, shouldn't Boone be on The Bachelor?

Kyle Holder - bad advance publicity - is starting to look like the breakout nobody of 2018. Yesterday, he went 2-2 after taking over at 2b. He's 23 and supposedly the best SS glove in our farm system. Last year at Tampa (High A), he hit .271 with 4 homers - not nuthin in a notorious pitchers' league. He's slated for Trenton. In a best-case scenario, he could jump to Scranton this summer and maybe taste coffee in September. Never in recent years has there been a more suitable trading chip than a glove-first SS who is blocked by Sir Didi, King Gleyber and even Wade and "Bullets" Estrada. I think he could win the James P. Dawson watch award, bestowed in the past on such luminaries as Johnny Barbuto, Slade Heathcott, Otto Velez and Bubba Crosby. Hey, you never know where meaning can be found.