Hello Sandy, Hello Freddie

Yesterday, Joel "Allan" Sherman, chief dealmaker for the New York Post, informed us that, "If I ran the Yankees...I would call the Mets and say, 'You can't have Gleyber Torres. Take any other four prospects for Jacob deGrom.' "

The four "prospects" he suggests are Andujar, El Matador; Estevan Florial, Justus Sheffield, "and take your pick of one of the Yankees' many power righty arms lower down from among Freicer Perez, Domingo Acevedo, Clarke Schmidt, and Trevor Stephan."

With deGrom, sez Sherman, the Yanks' "chances of winning one of the next three World Series—maybe even two of them—would soar."

Wow, think of that: we might win the World Series!  Sort of sends shivers up your spine.

Now, Sherman does allow that deGrom is "a starter who turned 30 this week and already has endured Tommy John surgery," and that the Yanks "might win one of the next three World Series even without deGrom."

Barring such a trade, Sherman suggest the Yanks go after Happ or Hapless, or even Steven Matz. He thinks that maybe, oh, Brandon Drury, Tyler Wade, Chance Adams, and Tommy Kahnle should be enough to bring in Matz.

Well, I thought we should maybe channel the late great Allan Sherman himself, to see how such a phone call from Cashman might go:

"Hello Sandy, Hello Freddie
Here I am, sittin' pretty
But I know you're not so happy
So I should give you half our team and make it snappy.

We're in first place
You're in fourth place
We should help you win some ballgames
Maybe you could help us file some health insurance claims.

Your best pitcher, he looks o-kay
But if we get him he'll go all Gray
Trade for Matz? You must be tripping
It's another kind of Bird that we'll be flipping.

Gotta go now, it's been pleasant
But you won't get some big present
We're trying to get to the Fall Classic
If you stay ahead of Miami it'll be fantastic."