Wednesday, August 1, 2018

In My Dreams

Do you remember when Byung-hyun Kim gave up a ninth inning home run for the second straight game in the 2001 World Series, and Bob Brenly came out to the mound and hugged him?

My fantasy scenario for today is:

Second inning, 0-0 game.  Danny Valencia on first with a single.  Sonny Gray walks Chris Davis, with his .157 batting average.

Immediately, Ma Boone jumps out of the dugout and runs out to the mound, where he wraps Sonny Gray up in a big Brenly hug.

"You're hurt, son."

"Whaa? No, I'm—"

"You're hurt, son. That's what we're going to tell the ump so the next guy will get all the warm-ups he needs. But you're also hurt, son. Hurt in the head. And it's all our fault."

"Huh? I'm okay—"

"No, you're not. And it really is our fault. We should have known better than to ever think some little manchild named Sonny could ever pitch in New York, for any team not named the Mets."

"But—"

"Don't worry, kid. We'll stick you in the back of the bullpen to mop up for the rest of the season, then ship you someplace you'll like. Maybe you can go to Cincinnati with you-know-who. Maybe you can go to Kansas City. I don't know—and frankly, I don't care. But you're coming with me now, son. You have made your last start ever for the New York Yankees."


9 comments:

TheWinWarblist said...

You give me chills, Hoss. You give me chills.

TheWinWarblist said...

Oh look! The double L guy is getting a chance to pitch. It's like little league; everybody plays. Goody.

KD said...

That was beautiful, Hoss. Just beautiful... There's no reason to hate Sonny. He's trying to be the best Sonny possible. he just doesn't have the talent.

Sanchez, on the other hand.....

ranger_lp said...

Now that the trading deadline is passed, the best we can get for Sonny Gray is a zero turn mower.

TheWinWarblist said...

No one is going to give us a zero turn mower for Sunny.

TheWinWarblist said...

Gleyber is the future. I hate losing to the Orioles, but the kids can play.

Carl Weitz said...

It's a bit telling when the two highest batting averages on the Yankees are Andujar and Torres, both rookies.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Yes! And my favorite moments so far this season have been watching Gleyber and Andujar shine as superstar rookies,,,

HoraceClarke66 said...

Remember when we were told the Yankees would never, should never dare try to conduct a championship season with them both starting?