Friday, August 10, 2018

Sanchez's Bobblehead Didn't Bobble

You all may know that the Yankees introduced a Gary Sanchez bobble head a few weeks ago.

It turns out that there was no resemblance, whatsoever, between Gary and the figurine.  Even the Yankee marketing department is calling it a failure.

Since that time, I have officially re-named Gary as " Jesus."  Named after the famous Yankee prospect Jesus Montero, also a catcher.

To commemorate both, I have ordered a " bobble head" ice cream sandwich to become the next Yankee homestead promotional feature ( driven by Jeep).

I hired a designer from Vienna, with a research lab in Hershey, Pa., and here is what they are proposing:

If you feed it, it will grow.

 If you bat it, it will strike out or hit into a double play.

If you throw it a pitch down the middle, the ball will bounce off it.

If you squeeze it, it says it's name.

It's preference is to lay around.  Speed and hustle are not in the figurine's pre-recorded verbal chip.

It does everything Jesus does.

Or did.

780 calories per serving ( one bite is considered a serving.).

Can't wait until we get our .188 power hitting catcher back.


JM said...

"And there's still nobody up in the Yankees bullpen." Down 5-0, quote of the day.

JM said...

The terrible Gardy hits a solo. All the offense there is so far.

Joe of AZ said...

What the fuck is wrong with Boone. Way to demoralize a pitcher whosr ACTUALLY been good 8/9 starts and leave em in there to get creamed. Honir is everythin to #Tanak instead of letting him go out knowing he got the last out u leave em in to give up one more bomb and walk off in shame. PICK UP UR HEAD WATCH THE DAMN GAME UR MANAGING FOR ONCE .... U do that to guys like Gray...NOT ur second best starter...

Whose responsible for this poor excuse for a manager. I want his head on a plate

KD said...

Boone was waiting for the order to pull Tanaka. It’s not his fault the algorithm needs work.

KD said...

I made jokes earlier that the Yanks should hire IBM’s Watson to manage the team, such is their devotion to metrics. Damn, people. It was a joke! Didn’t actually think they’d do it.

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

Pineapple Teriyaki on tonight’s menu?

And PLEASE don't blame the ice cream sandwich on an Austrian designer! Well, if it was, he didn't know what he was getting into (remember that I take my IIHIIFIIC username seriously).

13bit said...

hey hey! ho ho! cash and boone have got to go!
hey hey! ho ho! cash and boone have got to go!

Ken of Brooklyn said...

And of course, the Sux roared back to take the lead against a sucky team,,,,,,,, RIP 2018

HoraceClarke66 said...

Priceless, Alphonso!!

The only thing off: it should have a sort of dazed and confused expression, like the one Sanchez is usually wearing.

The magic number remains stuck at 10. And the Red Sox won, 19-12.

And yes, that would be another benefit of missing the Wild Card: it's possible, just possible, that Coops would throw Ma under the bus. Fingers crossed.