Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Yankee victory reduces Wild Card Magic Number to 48!

Everybody, put your hands together! The 2018 Yankee Team of Wild Card Destiny (TM) won last night. Yo, Adrian, WE DID IT!' We beat those dirty White Sox. Get out into the streets! Hooray. She was warned, she persisted. Yahoo.

The victory kept pace with Oakland - our new blood rival - and reduced the Yankee Wild Card Magic Number - (yes, Virginia, there is such a thing) - to 48. Forty-eight. Hooray, yahoo, whoopie, yabbadabbadoo. 

Well... there you have it. In theory, we should understand the Wild Card Magic Number, and the economic incentives of bringing the big game to NYC. In the aftermath of this weekend's visit from Mr. Ryan McBroom, it's hard to give a soggy crap.

So we beat the mighty White Sox? They are 30 games below .500 and 25 off the Wild Card pace. Yippee. Say, did you know that Blake Rutherford - the former top draft pick we traded for David Robertson and the Toddfather last year - is hitting .306 and has re-established himself as a Top 100 prospect? In ten years, I wonder what we'll think about that trade. Probably nothing. 

Wait a minute: Shouldn't we be giddy about Lance Lynn's performance last night? He surely just added an extra zero to his free agent contract next winter. Maybe he'll be our big missing rotational lug nut over the next two months. Maybe he'll be our Wild Card starter! I dunno. I wonder what we gave up in Luis Rijo, an under-the-radar prospect, and Tyler Austin, who might have brought a fighting edge to Boston this weekend. Instead, we had Luke Voit. Luke Voit. Luke Voit. Luke Voit. Luke Vo-

Sorry. Glitch in The Matrix. I lost it. Oh, well. I keep reading how the Yanks miss the "big bat" of Gary Sanchez. Does anybody remember that his "big bat" was hitting .188? The Yankees seem to be now presenting Sanchez as a hero - that night when he jogged us into a horrible defeat, he was secretly injured. What a mensch! How dare we criticize his lack of hustle! Soon, he'll return. Yungawumba! Whoo-whoo! (I dunno. I still think the best thing that could happen to Gary would be a trade to a small city that doesn't even contend for the Wild Card. Four years in Cincinnati, and I bet he'll run out grounders, or tell his coaches when he's hurt.)

One other bit of Yankee news: Last night, Michael Kay stupidly criticized Clint Frazier for being injured. It was a clunker of a statement by a professional communicator, and Kay quickly tried to walk it back, saying he was being facetious. Good grief, even our announcers are botching easy grounders and throwing to the wrong base. Before Kay could move, Frazier had snapped back on Twitter, and thousands of fans came to his defense. This is important? A Twitter dust-up between a YES home announcer and a player who probably will never play for the Yankees again?

Last time I looked, Frazier hasn't hit one MLB homer in 2018. He has one RBI. In April, he disappeared into the Scranton coal mines, and search parties never did find him, though they heard clanking metallic sounds, suggesting he was alive. I dunno. We've all wanted Frazier to be the next big thing, but something about the last weekend puts a damper on any hope. If the Yankees do what I think they'll do next winter - sign a Jeter Morning After Gift Basket of expensive free agents - Frazier never will see an opportunity in New York. Just another particle in the ocean. The Yankee barge lists slightly forward. Our Magic Number is 48. Zowie! 


13bit said...

That's a fairly sober assessment. These are dark days. I can only act on faith that we will one day find a helmsman to steer us out of this sea of shit. Unfortunately, the current helmsman is a moron and the one guy who could toss him overboard and anoint a new one, well, that guy doesn't give a shit. We're going to drifting for a while. And it's important to remember that Cashman did not build the winning teams that all of his reputation, glory and street cred rest on. He has just been playing out that string for a very long time.

KD said...

I could feel Gary's pain as he heroically hit the gas once he saw he had a chance to leg out that grounder. First there was the grimace, then the collapse behind first base as Gary's body writhed and contorted in pain. What a touching scene it was when Gary was helped off the field by concerned teammates, his injured and useless legs unable to bear his burgeoning weight.

That final unselfish burst of speed, with no thought to his physical well-being, proved that Gary has the Fighting Spirit (TM) so cherished by us Yankees fans. I was moved to tears. This man is a hero! I could care less for remainder of the Yankees' season now. I just want to see Gary smiling again. I hope the trainers are cautioning Gary never to be so reckless with his body again. Average aside, his Big Bat is essential for this team's success. Batting averages are so last century. Don't you Get It?

duque, you should be ashamed of yourself.

KD said...

Kay perpetuating the front office love the Yanks have for Red Thunder.

Might want to find that comically large batting helmet Cervelli used to wear when he was getting regularly concussed as our catcher. Put a strap on it and have Frazier wear it during all baseball activities.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Beautifully said, KD! I am wiping a tear. Soon, no doubt, we will see Sanchez's heroic efforts up there on the big screen, just like that famous reel of Munson on his knees in pain, hobbling around home plate. And I'm sure it will bring just as much of a storm of applause from the fans.

Duque is right: Death by Cincinnati! The vox populi has declared it!

Local Bargain Jerk said...

Very funny stuff, KD.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Duque, I still insist that the REAL magic number is 13!

13 more wins to the Yankees' 26th straight winning season, about the only thing worth achieving that is still possible in this Dr. Tong's House of Horrors of a season.

Make the Wild Card? Are you kidding me?

That leads to exactly two possibilities: an embarrassing loss to Juicing Joggy Cano's Mariners, or a win—followed by yet another Boston Beat Down.

Please, spare me either destiny. Win 82 and go home.

13bit said...

Not to ever root against the Yankees but, at this point, we don't WANT the Wild Card. We don't WANT the post season, we don't want to keep winning. We don't necessarily want to play by the new rules of baseball and tank in order to win down the road - very Orwellian, when you think about it - but we want to play like the team that we are: sub mediocrities who have no heart. Only in this way will the team get an HONEST appraisal and not the YankeeCorp, Inc horse shit treatment. An honest appraisal, followed by a surgical tear-down and a rebuild with A PLAN. No more of this haphazard Crackhead Cash blind flailing in the wind. No more farting in outer space and hoping someone will smell it. We need a real plan. Can Cashman honestly see beyond the tip of his nose?

HoraceClarke66 said...

It's possible that Frazier may have saved his Yankees career by getting hurt when he did. But yes, Duque, sadly you're right: it's much more likely Odysses Cashman will sign the odious Bryce Harper and deal Frazier away. Let the soap opera continue!

13bit said...

Let that soap opera continue and don't bend over to pick up that soap bar in a public locker room. Otherwise, you might be talking pineapple time. It's just a circus now. I miss the Bronx Zoo days.

ranger_lp said...

When we play against the Red Sox in September, I'm sure that they have setup the rotation to have Lynn and Happ pitch against them in both series. Might be interesting for those metric hounds out there.

Anonymous said...

Kay is a deeply stupid, opinionated vulgarian--and a disaster as a play-by-play announcer--a clanking radiator of annoying ticks, contrived "signature" calls, and hokey vocal mannerisms. Wait . . . whom does that remind you of--maybe Sterling? That's the Yankees' management taste in announcers--if they kiss the Steinbrenners' asses, then no other qualifications are necessary.

Moreover, Kay is a liar. In his Twitter response to Frazier, he denied questioning the authenticity of Clint's injury. But it's obvious that that is just what he did. You can listen to it for yourself at the link below. What a yawning, dishonest, ponitifical fool--and, not suprisingly, just signed to a contract extension by the fucked up front office of the Yankees: