Scarlett Johannson is one of us... a Yankee fan! She used to keep a rookie card of Derek Jeter in her wallet. Yes, she carried a wallet!
And there it is, your official Yankee news for the day.
Cough.
Actually, here is the News: There is no Yankee news for today, as there was none for yesterday, or for the day before, or for tomorrow, or for the day after tomorrow. Our car has stopped in a Yankee news desert, and until Giancarlo tweaks a gonad - he's overdue - we won't hear much on the wires. Now and then, Cooperstown Cashman or Aaron Boone will say something, anything, and Yankee fans will gather like lines outside a food bank, waiting to devour and digest their nothing-burger sentences. But for today, here it is: The Black Widow is a Yank fan. That's your ration of beans until tomorrow. Make it last.
But wait... I saved a dollop of tofu gravy, just for you. We have another tidbit:
Over the weekend, Aaron Judge turned 28. Twenty-eight. Is this possible? Didn't he just win Rookie of the Year? He's only been around a couple seasons, right? Just long enough to be screwed out of the MVP award by a cheater, am I right?
Well, he's 28. You can look it up. From a stats standpoint - (we being scientists of the game) - 28 should be near his apex season. Between 27 and 29, hitters generally peak. Though it may be impossible to beat his rookie season, 2020 should be one of the most productive years of Judge's life... (unless he is to be cheated out of another MVP, this time by the juju gods.)
For whatever it's worth, here are the Yankees who could miss peak seasons, if 2020 is canceled.
Luis Cessa 28
Gerrit Cole 29
Jordan Montgomery 27
Chad Green 28
Gary Sanchez 27
Mike Ford 27
Gio Urshela 28
Luke Voit 29
Aaron Judge 28
Mike Tauchman 29
Imagine the stress on - say - Gio Urshela, who needs to prove that 2019 was no fluke. A solid 2020 would surely mean a fat contract and lifetime security. A lost season? Well, that means he goes to arbitration next winter at age 29 and questions still circling overhead. He probably takes whatever the Yankees offer. I mean, when you knitted masks all year, do you want to go into arbitration? A year older and nothing to show for it.
I can only imagine the disappointment and stresses being faced by baseball players this month. So, nope... we're not alone. In our drifting life raft, we have plenty of room. Hell, we have Scarlett!
Posts
10 comments:
In the world of VIRTUAL Yankee news that Hoss has been documenting to carefully - and it's a better world, I might add, if filled with some pathos and tragedy - in THAT world, Scarlett J. came over last night, professed her longstanding infatuation with me, and asked if she could sit on my face while she gently scratched my gut with her fingernails.
In THAT world, which is a BETTER world, I might repeat, I acceded to her request, but could not stop worrying about John Sterling's fate, despite my inability to breath much while Scarlett was having her way with me. I'm wondering if we really want or need to return to that OTHER Yankee world, the one in which Hal continues to be a cheap piece of shit, where tickets are too expensive for mere mortals, where going to a game and sitting next to someone with a dry cough could be a death sentence.
Do I want to go back to that world? Greenwich Village has been gloriously devoid of crowds and assholes for the past month. I know that will soon come to an end. The other day was a harbinger of shit Spring - lots of schmucks walking around without masks, not social distancing, and just making too much noise. I know this golden age will come to an end and I'll have to get back to real life - we call that life? What is life?
Scarlett? Can you please come in from the other room? I need to see you for a moment...
ANOTHER REASON TO LOVE HER.
I know, 13bit. It seems that there must be SOME way to get to a better world...
Maybe The Master has found it!
Hey, Winnie, that's a tad graphic. I mean, it's a natural sentiment, but we have standards to keep up here.
I'm losing my interest in most everything that I was interested in just a couple months ago. Thank God for European cop shows. Although I suppose drinking every night and having various degrees of hangover every day is no way to go through life. Certainly, it will get me expelled from Faber one of these days.
And, as usual, some asshole is impersonating me and Winnie. Some people have no life.
oh god, a moron, to boot. okay, I'll be ignoring you from here on.
I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.
Post a Comment