Breaking news from Camp Tamp: Aaron Hicks is ready for a big year!
Whoops. My mistake. Instead of Hicks, I meant Clint Frazier. He's on the cusp!
Wooah. What a goof. I actually meant Gleyber Torres. He's the one!
Wait. My bad. I meant Justin Wilson!
Okay. Wait a minute. I'm sensing an algorithm. Press the APPLAUSE button. Across the Yankiverse, these are the days of wine and roses. Everybody looks great. Everybody is smiling. Hello, lampposts, whacha knowin'? I come to watch yer flowers growin.' All is groovy.
Everybody - {insert name here} - expects a big, huge, unbelievable breakout year because of his new:
1. Batting stance.
2. Change-up/two-seamer.
3. Trainer.
2. Change-up/two-seamer.
3. Trainer.
4. Wife/girlfriend/kid/family.
5. Belief in God.
6. Commitment to the game.
7. Kegel exercises.
8. Self-help guru.
8. Self-help guru.
9. Financial independence.
10. Desperate need to make money.
11. Lucky penny.
12. Fukkit, just because...
Listen: I've been around. Long, long time. I've seen things. Unspeakable things. Did you know the Harlem Globetrotters once came to Gilligan's Island? Impossible! you say. But it's true.
Let's not overanalyze. Let's go with the flow. For the Yankees, this is the REAL Hope Week. Enjoy every sandwich.
I hear Giancarlo looks good. That yoga is a game-changer!
Ahh, the greatest time of the year. It's all downhill from here.
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12 comments:
With all the happy news coming out of the Yankees camp, I wonder why there were some guys installing new signs over every entrance to the Stadium?
It was hard to see because the words were partially covered by plastic wrapping, but it looked like "Abandon hope all ye who enter here."
Kind of a nutty thing to put up at a ballpark. But it seems more honest than the ancient Yankees theme song, with its "Hit! Run! Slide! Score! Go! Go! Go!" DJ is the only one who can do the first, nobody can do the second (except Wade, I guess), you don't need the third if you swing for the fences all the time, and the fourth is only something you do if somebody connects on one of their lunges.
I hear that "Go! Go! Go!" is the new sign in the clubhouse rest room, though.
I've been doing my exercise (#7 on your list) for many years, and I still can't hit a MF-ing curveball.
Or a fastball...
What am I doing wrong?
As the Talking heads once sang...."Same as it ever was".
It's the time of the year that Yankees beat writers turn to the trusty Yankees Spring Random Story Generator. Field no. 1 is a player name. Fields no. 2 is either "career year" or "on the trading block", and field no. 3 is an entry from your list.
At mid-season, for pitchers field no. 2 defaults to "is having Tommy John surgery. "
Bern,
LOL
JM,
So no more, "I thank the good lord for making me a Yankee?" Maybe it should be "I thank my agent" I'm more of a "Post No Bills" or Standpipe Riser Control guy myself.
Two more "feel" good stories...
The Knicks scored 140 points in a single game.
Celtics coach has identity stolen in week from hell (To be fair I don't wish this on anybody - well almost anybody - I just like the words Celtics and "week From Hell'
Doug K.
I'm having margaritas later. Maybe a lot of margaritas.
I'm still laughing. Duque is in midseason form already. I guess I missed the Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island. What was their excuse for leaving without the castaways?
"Alex, I'll take Brain Salad for $1,000".
Globetrotters, Gillian's Island, Kegel, NY Yankees Blog
What is ElDuque's brain on a Friday.
You remain the master of your domain sir
The Archangel
Well Horace, this was not an episode of the TV series, rather it was a horrible film where they explained(it was shot years after the last TV episode)the castaways were rescued and Gilligan's Island was now a resort spot. Actually, it was the third made-for-TV Gilligan piece of dreck from Sherwood Schwartz. Here....let Wiki explain in detail:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Harlem_Globetrotters_on_Gilligan%27s_Island
There needs to be an award for the writing el duque does here. Kegel exercises! The whole thing had me giggling like an idiot.
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