Brett Gardner... the captaincy, dugout roofs and Oumuamua

Brett Gardner is returning for one more go at a world series ring, a plaque in Monument Park, various evil AL umpires and the Yankee dugout roof, which - like a cursed teen's acned chin - shall forever show the scars of Gardy's inner rage. (See right.)

As our own LBJ reported last night, and as was expected since November, Gardner is back on a one-year Rocket Mortgage. At 37, each at bat will face the monochrome of a career in twilight, and Gardy last year hit a piddling .223, his worst ever. This could be his final shot at the glory that 12 years ago seemed a regular destiny - ticker tape parades, clubhouse champagne blasts and talks with Jimmy Fallon, fates that would instead befall our rivals. No wonder the dugout roof is so dimpled.

So, for now anyway, here is the Yankee outfield depth chart.

Aaron Judge
Aaron Hicks
Giancarlo Stanton
Clint Frazier
Brett Gardner
Mike Tauchman
Miguel Andujar
Greg Allen
Jay Bruce
Estevan Florial

Socrates Brito 

Ryan LaMarre
Michael Beltre
Thomas Millone
Trey Amburgey

From this, let's choose six. (Normally, we'd select five, but surely at least one main OF will tweak a gonad.) The bottom six are lottery tickets and fillers. 

My guess: Judge/Stanton/Hicks/Frazier/Gardner/Allen or Tauchman.

Allen is a switch hitter with defense and speed. Tauchman is either the 2019 Tauchman (keep him) or the 2020 version (cut him). Andujar simply remains a soul imprisoned in the limbo of the lost.

If Bruce has a great spring, he could complicate matters. But let's face it: Gardy is a lock. The Yankees didn't sign him to dump him. Also, last year, after hitting .077 in July and .190 in August, Gardner hit .288 in September. His season ended too soon to overcome the slow start. He won't hit .277 (in 2010, his career peak). But he won't hit .223 (last year, his lowest), either.

I'd argue that, to fully exploit Gardner's value - and to pay him tribute - the Yankees should name him Team Captain. He fills every leadership role and is the lone holdover from 2009, our last fling. The comparable captain candidates would be DJ LeMahieu, Gerrit Cole or Zack Britton. Gardy beats them all, and considering Aaron Boone's easy-peazy, low profile, maybe this team needs a captain.

Which brings us to "Oumaumua" - the turd-shaped object that in 2017 flew in and out of our solar system, prompting speculation that an alien probe was taking our picture. (This from a Harvard professor whose knowledge of the cosmos might rival his sense of what sells books.)  Who will be the Yankee Oumaumua?

Right now, our most likely Oumaumua is Jay Bruce. His time in the Yankiverse might last from Feb. 28 to April 1 - one brief glimpse of a mysterious object, with unknown implications for the future of Yankeekind. It could also be Green. We'll just have to see.

Welcome back, Gardy. May the roof in Tampa be made of rubber.