Trinkets for the Natives

By HoraceClarke66 

The House That Stick Michael built got a lot of attention today on New York 1, as New York opened a mass vaccination site there. This was a departure from how the Yankees usually stick it to the good people of this city, but it had its stomach-turning moments anyway.

Gov. Cuomo the Lesser had Randy Levine, Aaron Boone, and The Great One on his morning press conference for the announcement.

Little Andy was kvelling like a schoolboy over the three, even though they were beaming in from an undisclosed location.  (The governor also seems unduly pale these days. Too long between draining the blood out of unsuspecting virgins and assorted Renfields?)

Mariano looked and dressed classy, as ever. Boone seemed like the younger sibling brought along on parents' night, as usual. And mop-haired Randy Levine...in a rare moment of honesty, announced that those getting jabbed at the Stadium would receive Yankees "trinkets."

Yep, that's the word he used. "Trinkets"—as in bright, shiny, worthless object you dangle in front of indigenous populations you are hoping to dupe. You might say that Giancarlo Stanton is the supersized version of said trinket.

Once upon a time, rather than expressing abject, fawning gratitude over a wealthy private corporation that the city and state have handed billions of dollars over the years deigning to open an unused facility during a health emergency, the governor of New York would have expected it as a matter of course.

But then, once upon a time, no one would have dreamed of handing over billions of dollars to a ballclub.

Anyway, good to see that Yankee Stadium will be put to some use during the long winter months.  And I can't wait to see those trinkets!  Gilded rat feces left over from the '80s, with "Citibank" stamped on the back?  

But I kid, I kid!  Before signing off, the governor made sure to inform Mariano that "I'm very good at hitting the curveball now, because in politics the curveballs come at you all the time!"

One might have expected The Great One to reply, "I threw the greatest cutter anyone ever saw, you dick!"   But he didn't.  Mariano was always a model of decorum.