Sunday, May 16, 2021

Next man up: Wait a minute. Who the eff is Ryan LaMarre?

Last night, the Yankees put "Mr. Delicate," Aaron Hicks, on double-secret injury probation - possibly for the rest of 2021 - and brought up somebody named Ryan LaMarre.

I'm sorry. Somehow, I've misplaced my Steele Dossier on this guy. I don't recall his signing. I don't recall him being invited to camp, I don't recall him in spring training, yeesh, only after studying Railrider stats have I noticed his existence in Scranton, Pa. 

Thus... Ladies and gentlemen, from the great Yankee state of Michigan, standing 6-feet-1 and weighing 215 pounds, the new Tauchman, the Loyal Bloke from Royal Oak... Ryyyyyyyan LaMarrrrrrrrrre!


(By the way, Tauchman is 12-for 62 - .218 - with SF, so... yeah, there's that.)

Here are LaMarre's beautistics:

As you see, his breakout season was 2018, when he drove in 18 (eighteen) runs. He's not much of a base-stealer, he bats RH and, at Scranton, he was hitting .217 with no HRs.

Let's assume he's solid in the OF. Why should we? I dunno, but let's. If he hits .217 - hey, that's 80 points higher than Clint Frazier (who might soon need a Juju Intervention) and he can platoon with Gardy, who looks exhausted in CF.

So... what's really going on? What's Cashman's secret strategy, because he's always five chess moves ahead of us? So what's happening? 

Beats me. It looks as though they've promoted LaMarre to clear a path for Estevan Florial, whom the mothership hopes will be MLB ready by, say, mid-June. Florial is a longshot, but he supposedly can patrol CF, and that might be all we can hope for. The Yankees must think a few weeks of Triple A will help Florial, and Scranton is where they cluster their batting and pitching gurus, for better or worse.

So, if somebody teaches Florial how to bunt, or reduce his strikeouts, he could - OH, FUCK THAT, NOBODY'S GOING TO TEACH THAT. THEY'LL DO THE OPPOSITE, FILL HIS HEAD WITH THE LAUNCH ANGLE CRAPOLA, SO HE'LL HIT 10 HRS WITH A .190 AVERAGE, BECAUSE ALL THEY SEE ARE LONG BALLS...

Sorry about that. I lost it. But what if LaMarre - a journeyman at age 32 - merely comes to bat looking to put balls into play? 

Next man up? Here we go. 

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

They might be trying to limit Florial's service time to protect that valuable free agent year. That way the Yankees can get a extra bag of balls in addition to the B level middle reliever. After having broken Florial's spirit by keeping him on the Scranton shuttle for a few years.

Or Brain is just an idiot.

Anonymous said...



LeMahieu... LaMarre...What's next? LeVerneandShirley?

The 2021 Yankees are becoming Les Miserables.

Doug K.

Dantes said...

They’ve already passed the service time deadline and Florial had a 30% strike out rate at the single a level, he needs a couple of weeks at aaa to learn how to read pitches. Right now he looks like another candidate to limbo under the Mendoza bar if promoted to the big league

Rufus T. Firefly said...

They need to teach Florial how to hit into the shift and get that valuable ground-out to short right field. Bunting? That's so last century.

While they're at it, maybe they can give him a huge leg kick to maximize flailing at the curve-ball.

ranger_lp said...

Wow...you guys are overly optimistic...jeez...

Publius said...

Rememeber Refsnyder? Called up to Twins yesterday. Played outfield. Went 2-4. Drove in a run in the middle of 8th inning goa ahead rally.

Anonymous said...

Ranger,

I'd like to be optimistic. I found the Pollyanna statue. But there's optimistic and then there's stupid.

For example: Thinking Hicks could play all year without major injury and having no viable back up other than a guy with diminishing skills and advanced age. Optimistic or Stupid?

We're just bemoaning poor roster construction. How do they not have a viable option in place? I'm rooting for La Sub. I hope he totally kicks butt and plays center for the next five years. But... I really just hope he's not more like Pepe Le Pew.

Doug K.



ranger_lp said...

Was being sarcastic Doug....

Anonymous said...

There's no need to promote Florial to AAA before bringing him up. Guys are promoted to the majors from AA often. Too many strikeouts? Are they kidding us? We have guys in the majors who strike out most of their at bats. Florial ain't going to be any worse. I remember Bernie Williams had one game early in his career when he struck out five times. Just recently, Aaron Judge struck out something like seven consecutive times. It'll be on the job training, but it's still better for our future than having Brett Gardner in CF for the rest of the year.

The Hammer of God

TheWinWarblist said...

We know Ranger and we love you for it.

Dandy Prof said...

Actually, I'm pretty sure there's a weird rule in place across MLB this year that players can only be promoted from AAA.

ranger_lp said...

@Dandy...I also read something to that effect...from AAA and Taxi Squad. I don't know if there is still a Taxi Squad now that MiLB has started up.

celerino sanchez said...

How these options: Vernon Wells, Andy Phillips, Shelly Duncan, Sandy Duncan or Curtis Granderson?

DickAllen1964 said...

In other news:

In his Triple-A debut, Estevan Florial finished 1-for-4 with a triple, a walk and a run scored

What the hell are they waiting for? Bring the kid up and let the old man sit.

JM said...

Dick, you know that a washed up or never-was old man with major league experience will always get the call over some wild-card kid. It's the Yankee Way.

Celerino, is Sandy Duncan still under contract? Along with Sammy Davis and Peter Falk? And Moshe Dyan?

If they have major league experience, they may be under consideration.

Anonymous said...

Ranger,

Sorry. I'm a little off today. :)

Doug K.

DickAllen1964 said...

“Florial was just promoted to Triple-A Scranton/Wilkes-Barre on Friday and needs to spend at least 72 hours there before he’s eligible to be put on the major league roster.”

TheWinWarblist said...

S'okay Doug K. We all have our failings. I had two frozen margaritas last night and passed out before I could warble.

Thuh-uh-uh-uhuhuh Margaritas won!!!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Okay, fine. But as soon as that 72nd hour passes...bring him up!

HoraceClarke66 said...

And of course LaMarre is a righty. Hitting left-handed is unnatural, and evidence of demonic possession.

Kevin said...

Can't wait to see a guy come to the Majors who has been at single A (or below) for five years. Seems that he has trouble picking up the spin of the ball. So the kid either needs some really strong contacts, or a really great financial advisor. His problems are outlined in a number of respected websites if you doubt me.

Alphonso said...

The big question is how did they figure Gardy had any high test octane left in his tank?

Because he can still outrun Hal Steinbrenner?

MLB requires Florial to spend at least 72 hours at AAA, having just been elevated to that level. Probably a union thing.

My question is why not try Frazier there?

It will take less out of Gardy to play LF. Also, maybe the Yankees have a LF in the minors?

Or maybe if Andujar hits...

Or I grow a horn.

ranger_lp said...

So the takeaway here is that LaMarre is a placeholder...and he's on the clock...is it 72 hours yet?

ranger_lp said...

We need a countdown clock on the home page el duque....