Monday, May 31, 2021

No matter what happens this week, the Yankees will not launch a rebuild... yet.

It's hard to imagine the Yankees in a more disgraced state than the abomination that took the field this weekend in Detroit. Yesterday, after the third inning, the only reason to have the game on TV was for an old-fashioned hate-watch.

In another era - a reality not so distant - our nebbish, autotronic manager Aaron Boone would be replaced by a scalding, Billy Martinesque personality, and a fire sale would loom.

Giancarlo Stanton would disappear in a haze of money, and the twins of disappointment - Clint Frazier and Miguel Andujar - would be dealt or dispatched to Scranton. Then, for the second time since 2016, Aroldis Chapman would be traded from the Yankees to an actual contender. 

Blaspheme? Close your eyes. It's not hard to imagine...

But but BUT... nobody expects such a meltdown - yet. No matter what happens in the next seven games, Boone will stay, and the Yankees will merely flood their self-owned media with updates on Zack Britton and Luis Severino, and chirpy chatter of how (insert player here) looks ready to snap out of his funk. This stems from the sedentary nature of Hal Steinbrenner, who simply sets a Yankee payroll limit and then goes away, stacking his money to the stars. 

But make no mistake: This is a crisis. Following four games with Tampa and three with Boston, the Yankees could actually start contemplating their second self-inflicted meltdown in five years. Here are the standings for next year's draft, kept faithfully at

Not long ago, the notion of being swept by the Rays and Redsocks would be the stuff of Chicken Little. For one thing, Gerrit Cole wouldn't let it happen. But we've now seen enough to know otherwise. Yesterday, John Sterling described the Yankees as a team of Dave Kingmans - everybody batting .220 and swinging from their heels. And playing stupidly.

Yesterday, in the ninth, after Giancarlo Stanton had walked to load the bases on four pitches - each well out of the strike zone - Aaron Judge swung wildly at the first two offerings, neither a strike. The next pitch goes down the middle, a call strike three. Game over. I don't mean to rip Judge, one of the few Yankees who is hitting, but I ask you: With the game on the line, was that a smart at-bat?

No matter what happens this week, the Yankees won't pull the plug on 2021 - yet. 
But seven losses would move the Yankees up to 13th in the Tankathon. A few trades could re-energize the farm system. A team of young nobodies? It sure would beat hate-watching. 


Anonymous said...

Our only hope is that they doggedly hang on through to the end of July fall hopelessly out of contention and then SELL. SELL SELL, like an old Crazy Eddie commercial. Then receive like the 4th pick in the draft.
Of course, they will squander that pick on a 22-year old Canadian prep player who just switched sports from hockey but has legendary bat speed whose slapshot will easily convert to a wonderful launch angle. As a bonus, he actually DOES NOT know what a bunt is.
The Archangel

Anonymous said...

The sad thing is, even if we go 4-2 or better I will still hate this version of the Yankees.

Doug K.

Platoni said...

Doug, I pray they don't go 7-0 because if they do, all the politburo media channels will blanket the airwaves with hopeful tidbits about how they've turned it around - Next Stop World Series!

And I, a tri-state area moron, will fall for it and start to hope and giggle. Until they are swept by Baltimore and Judge hits the IL, and they trade 4 prospects for the equivalent of 2019 Chris Davis to replace him. Then I'll get mad again.

Rinse and repeat.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hilarious, Archie!

And as I've said before, I love Judge to death, but he has constant, inexplicable at-bats.

The great Yankees teams of the Last Dynasty never tried to do too much. They trusted each other, and were all about "moving the line." In that situation, a Paul O'Neill would've been fine with working a walk or hitting a two-run single, leaving it up to Bernie to double into the gap, and Jorge or Tino to finish it off with another single.

Not this team, where everyone is alway trying to hit the five-run homer.

Anonymous said...


Re: 5 run homer

Don't give MLB any ideas or they will eventually institute it.

I'm thinking it's an upper deck shot with the bases loaded. One bonus run for distance. Like the three point shot in the NBA.

Hey your team is never out of it when your .128 batting catcher can get hold of one and put a quick 5-spot on the board.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

The corollary of the new "Five-run homer" rule can be a devaluing of the Yankee Stadium short porch. These dimensions have irked Yankee haters for time immemorial and wall clearers can now be worth .8 runs.


JM said...

If they devalue the short porch, what do they do with the Pesky pole and the Green Monster? They're worse, imo.

But it's Bahston, so, like steroid use, they'll be given a pass.

Anonymous said...

That's the genius of it! By simultaneously devaluing both the short porch and Pesky pole the new rule seems equal. In fact, Pesky pole homers are quite rare so the NYY would be more harmed.


Anonymous said...

Yeah, they should do value distance equations for the home runs so that the longer the home run, the more points they are worth. Like in the Olympics for the javelin or discus throw or the ski jump. Whoa, that home run may be worth 7 runs, I think it went 595 feet!

The Hammer of God

Anonymous said...

@Platoni, you have nothing to worry about. We'll be lucky if we win ONE solitary little old game during the next seven games. I'm predicting sweeps by the Tampons and the Red Sux. A ten game losing streak. And this will be the Yankee death knell for the 2021 season.

The Hammer of God

Alphonso said...

What makes you think they would do anything useful with the number one pick?

We would get Dante Bichette, or Cito somethingorother.

Ot a 6'9" pitcher from Carolina just entering TJ surgery.

The problem with the Yankees is at the top.

And it flows down to:

Cashman and

Boone...the game's worst manager, but best bull shitter.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Ma and Pa are pontificating about how horrible the Yankees were this weekend.

Rufus T. Firefly said...


Brien Taylor is available. A little old now, but Brain likes that in a player.

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