Saturday, May 29, 2021

What a Brief, but Honest, interview would be like....

 Hello Aaron, just wondered what you thought of Devi's game today?

Boone: " He is consistent, I'll give you that."

Would you expand on that?

Boone:  "Yes.  Every time we give him a start....every time...he gives up a two run homer early, putting us in a hole, and then he " leaks " another 2-3 runs."

Boone ( continuing ) :  ".....I can almost predict that he will barely last into the fifth inning, and we'll be down 4 or 5 runs at that point.

Any other observations?  

Boone : " He always leaves the reliever looking at runners in scoring position.  And they always fucking score. One other thing, his delivery is so slow it is putting all of our guys to sleep.  "

Some say he is the Yankees best young pitching prospect...

Boone : " The truth of the statement is that he is young.  

"I can remember when we had an outfielder named Mason Williams who never was any good, but he always seemed to be only 22 years old.  Devi is like that. He'll be young forever, and never be any good. 

What do you think he needs to do to live up to the moniker " the Yankees number one pitching prospect?"

 Boone: "Whatever he needs to do, he'll be doing it from Scranton.  I have advised him to invest in real estate down there. 

And if he is our best pitching prospect, then the future is very, very dark for this yankee franchise."  

How do you feel about your offense?  And you have Giancarlo back now...

Boone: "When you get 3 hits and 1 run against the Tigers, in 2021, you might as well raise up the white flag. And slipping a golden sombrero into our line-up every day just doesn't seem smart, does it?  So I'm going to let the big guy get his timing and rhythm back by sitting on the bench and eating pumpkin seeds.  That would seem a good use of Hal's $30million  per year for the next decade...."

Want to go to Hooters?

Boone: "They have them in Detroit?  I could go for some onion rings...."


Publius said...


The current slash line of which recent Yankee "can't miss"?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I cheated. Similar numbers to his first callup on the Yankees.

Traded because we needed another slow corner outfielder. Because you can never have enough corner OF/DHs.

No need to depress us even further, but Tauchman made a game saving catch yesterday. Still hitting for crap, but another guy traded for garbage.

Anonymous said...

Soon , the YES ratings will match the Cum GPA of Delta House.
But I will not quit this Blog.
Maybe we can bring up Luis Gil now that Devi officially sucks donkey dicks.

The Archangel

Anonymous said...

Here's a briefer and more honest interview.

Q: So Aaron what's going on with the team?

Boone: We Suck!

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

Is this Deivi Garcia the same kid we brought up a year or two ago? He looks like a different pitcher now. His fastball only tops out at 92. His curveball is a lifeless balloon with no bite at the end. His best pitch is an 83 mph changeup. He has zero command of his fastball or curve. His confidence is completely gone. I was shocked when I saw this putrid performance.

The Hammer of God

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