Saturday, October 6, 2012

Welcome to our world, Texas and Atlanta, the world where losing breeds angry consequences

Last night, the great American feelgood story of the new millenium, Josh Hamilton, came to bat for what might be his final appearance in a Rangers costume. He fanned and walked away under a spit-shower of boos. (His shower of real booze, presumably, comes later.)

Three hours earlier, the delightful Southern hospitality suburb of Red State America, Atlanta, showered debris across the diamond and delayed the game for an entire Simpsons episode after a disputed call. It was like a tickertape parade, except the bottles and glasses were half full. (As an optimistt, I think of thrown bottles as half-full.)

These testimonials to bad sportsmanship are not supposed to happen in polite, whitebread tax havens like Texas and Georgia, where people respect police. They are the stuff of (insert racial code here) in the concrete (insert racial code here) jungles of NY and LA (and if you follow Mr. Drudge, Gangland Chicago.)

Well, welcome to our world, Texas and Atlanta fans.

You went the season looking forward to October. It just came and went. You booed your star. You watched critical runs die on third. Your pitcher couldn't get the third strike. Your shortstop couldn't make the play. You spent the year thinking about a championship, and it didn't last nine innings. No... it didn't even last six.

Welcome to the Yankiverse.

People condemn Yankee fans as fat cats and obnoxious asses. Hey -- guilty as charged. But we are the one team in America that is always the favorite, never the underdog, always the bully, never the over-achiever, always good-plated, never thrifty. When we win, we should have won. When we lose, it's a scandal. You boo, you hiss, and you throw the bottle that is half-empty. It wasn't supposed to happen.

Well... Baltimore is the feelgood story of 2012. Give them a couple years, and bring a helmet.

Cards fans are already buying Cheetos for the victory party. Stand back.

This country is angry. This is no time to be a loser, even if you made it to the big fight. There is one winner, and everybody else is throwing bottles of boos.


Anonymous said...

an example of why el duque is one of the most insightful sports writers in the country

Alibi Ike said...

If any Texan described himself as a "plucky underdog", he'd be thrown in jail for sedition.