Saturday, April 26, 2014

John: Should we worry about Kuroda? Suzyn: No, but there is "cause for concern."

Nothing beats a selective parsing of words. No, not a parsing - but a pertinent and stimulating, well-chosen appropriation of words, if you will. This is what elevates us above other species in the food chain. Ever hear an ape try to parse his words? It sounds like a Slipknot record being played backwards. So let's parse some frickin' verbiage here: There IS "cause for concern" about Hiroki Kuroda. There IS "cause for concern" about the Yankee rotation. There IS "cause for concern" about the 2014 Yankees. Is "Yeesh" a verb or a noun? Because I say - and I'm choosing my words carefully - YEEEEEEESH. 
Thus far, my yeeshes were masked by a relatively hopeful month of April, when we beat the Redsocks in the best of seven mini-world series, 4 games to 3. We beat the Blue Jays 2-1, and split with the Rays. The Orioles ate our lunch - at home no less - but we will probably not have a greater day in 2014 than our double shutout against the Cubs. (And we can never get back that 1-2 against Houston.) 

The AL East looks to be Division III. The Rays are hobbled by the loss of Moore and Cobb. The Jays are the Jays, just as Topeka is Topeka. Boston used all its steroidal magic last year. Baltimore could be a powerhouse - if gets pitching. But what team can't you say that about?

The Yankees? I'd say "cause for concern" sums it up nicely. 

1. The entire infield is a cause for concern. Jeter is not only slow to every ball, but now he's having trouble making throws. Brian Roberts hasn't established himself at 2B. Solarte is falling back to earth, and rather than a cleanup hitter, Teixeira remains a mystery presence.

2. The entire bullpen is a cause for concern. After the first month, we still won't know if David Robertson can close. Kelly has emerged as the eighth inning man, but he ran out of gas last year, and he probably will again. Two weeks ago, we had incredible depth - Phelps, Warren and Vidal. Now, it's Bruce Billings? That's the kind of Sidney Ponson roster move you see in July - not April. Yeesh.

3. The entire rotation - except for one - is a cause for concern. WTF happened? We have one ace - Tanaka - and to be honest, he hasn't been here long enough to be considered an ace. The recent humiliation could rouse Pineda to answer his critics, or sink him psychologically. Kuroda? Yeesh. Suzyn is wrong. It is time to worry.

Here's a brief satire of John and Suzyn, which is marred by the feverish laughing by these two clunkers. They must be high. They laugh so hard that it hurts to listen. Ah, sports talk... the thing that drove us to blogs...

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