Friday, April 18, 2014

JUJU ALERT: The Yankees are on a roll, which means we must do EVERYTHING exactly as we have been doing it

Last night, I whined about the Yankees. It wasn't easy, and frankly, it made no sense. I did it anyway, because of the first (and most important) IRON RULE OF JUJU.

Never change underwear in a winning streak.

I screamed at the TV during the 8th inning, with the Yankees leading 8-2. Dellin Betances came into the game and promptly walked a batter. It occurred to me how much it REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SUCKS when every Yankee starter pitches late into games with quality outings, because our mop-up men in the bullpen don't get enough work, causing control problems. "DAMN YOU, CASHMAN," I screamed. "DAMN YOU, YOU'VE DONE IT TO ME AGAIN!"


Right now, Yankee fans are frolicking naked in a vast field of nipples. Everything, everything, is going our way. We put guys at first base who have never even played the position, and they make McCoveyian scoops on throws to finish triple plays. We lose David Robertson, and nobody blows a save opportunity. Three out of four against Boston. Two out of two against the Cubbies. We hit Tampa and find they no longer have Matt Moore and Randall Cobb: It's like confronting the Hulk, and he turns into Bruce Banner.

Whatever you doing at home, on your juju couch, in your juju pod, in your juju launching pad... MAKE NO CHANGES.

Mustang, somebody, anybody, we need another Sammy Davis Jr. video. I plan to recreate my entire schedule from Thursday, and that includes dental surgery. I don't care how ripe your socks get. This is how you win pennants. (Redsock fans last year never changed their underwear after April 17th, hence the phrase "Boston strong.") It's not easy, but we need to keep this thing going. For the team..

On that note, keeping the ancient Jerry Van Dyke 1970s/car thing theme...

In the name of Brian C, Montalban...



JM said...

I watched every episode of My Mother the Car when it was on. Even as a kid, I knew there was something terribly wrong, but Jerry got me through it somehow. And that still invades my brain almost 50 years later, off and on. I'd forgotten it was Sammy, though. Thanks for that. I think.

ceeja said...

They're winning because I've been driving my family crazy walking around the house singing: "Soooo-lar-Tay, Whoa Whoa!; Soooo-lar-Tay, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!!!"

Not quite as good as a field of nipples, but it's close.