Monday, April 14, 2014

Yangervis Solarte's legend improves: He took a whack to the gonads, and that's why he was limping

Every Yankee fan who saw Yangervis Solarte hobble back to the dugout last night, after apparently tripping over first base, suffered the same reaction. Sprained ankle, twisted knee or hammy... out for a month... So long, Yangervis.

That's the way things go, unfortunately, in the Yankee universe of pessimism.

In fact, he's fine. No problemo. What happened was that Yangervis took one - how should I put this?- directly in the onions and right on the carriage return, if you catch my drift... you know, square on the billiards, splitting the uprights, straight down the Canyon of Heroes, onto the tumbling tumbleweeds, into the pumpkin patch, on the tomatoes, the Brussell's sprouts, the cabbages, the marshmallows, the baby carrots, the Kingsford brickettes... up the river and through the woods, onto the fruit tray and into Kim Kardashian's play land.

And he limped. Yes, our man is not an unseasoned rookie. He is a pro.


JM said...

I wish the best for him and any of his future children. If he can still have any.

I'm Bill White said...

If John Sterling had any balls, he'd have the guts to create a home run call for Solarte by yelling Doctor Kenneth Noisewater!