Friday, May 18, 2018

If we had a first-quarter All Star break, who would have made the team?

Shoot me. Basically, our thrill-addicted Yankiverse just endured three torturous days without a baseball fix, a mini-all star break, in which time stood still. Instead of wrecking their swings in a home run derby, our millionaires got to sleep in a crummy, puke-decorated airport. The break came 40 games into the season, the quarter mark, so in the grand spirit of Mel Kiper mock drafts - (NBB: Nothing But Bullshit) - it's a perfect time to elect an All Star team, thus far. If the midsummer classic - no, the mid-spring classic - were held today, here's your AL batting order (with HR, RBI, BA and - for the toddlers out there - the magical all-knowing OPS.)

rf Mookie Betts, Boston (13, 28, .364, 1.172)

ss Manny Machado, Baltimore (14, 40, .342, .901)

lf JD Martinez, Boston (13, 38, .334, 1.051)

rf Aaron Judge, NY (11, 35, .307, 1.035)

cf Mike Trout, California (12, 29, .290, 1.031)

3b Jose Ramirez, Cleveland (13, 30, .296, 1.004)

1b C.J. Cron, Tampa (11, 27, .293,.877)

2b Jed Lowrie, Oakland (9, 37, .324, .938)

c Gary Sanchez, NY (10, 30, .211, .820)

The AL starting pitcher would be Jason Verlander, Gerrit Cole or Charlie Morton, all from Houston, which is pants-pissing scary, but let's don our imaginary Depends and not get sidetracked. Instead, let's ponder the outlier in that lineup, the ninth hitter, where Gary Sanchez looks suspiciously like a Yankee fan home job. How does a .211 hitter make an all star game, even one based on Mel Kiper?

Well, according to MLB stat at-bats, the AL has three "qualifying" catchers: 

Sad, eh? Only three. Of course, the speed-crazy NL is full of catchers, right? It's the league of Buster, Yadier and Wieters, right?  

Well, here are the all-MLB "qualifiers:"

What leaps out is one of the true Yankee fuck-ups of this millennium - ignoring both the talent and the character of Mr. Francisco Cervelli, who twice went to an emergency room in a pinstriped jersey, and who might have saved us from investing $85 million on Brian McCann. (Actually, we traded Frankie for Justin Wilson, who was later converted into Mean Chad Green, so maybe it wasn't that bad.) The other cardinal sins: Letting Boston outbid us for Yoan Moncada, refusing to re-sign Russell Martin, Kei Igawa, Kei Igawa, and Kei Igawa... ah, don't get me started.

Instead, let's appreciate Gary for what he is: baseball's best catcher... arguably (which is, arguably, the greatest word in any fan's vocabulary.) At age 25, Sanchez is the most likely Yankee to heat up over the next month. He started 2018 in a deep slump. Even at .211, he leads all MLB catchers in HRs and RBIs. As for the passed balls? Yeah, it's a problem. But one reason could be that he must handle baseball's two wildest arms - Dellin Betances and Aroldis Chapman - both Ryne Duren without glasses, if not without eyes. When not putting batters into CTE brain scan protocols, they're hitting backstops in the air. Catching a 103 mph pitch in the dirt, when you called for an 93 mph slider... good luck with that. 

Let's face it: Like Melania Trump, Gary must continually learn how to block balls. But already, he is the AL's best catcher - arguably - and he's why Giancarlo Stanton ranks 48th in walks. Of all the Yankees likely to carry us through the next quarter, Gary is most scary.


Local Bargain Jerk said...

I read an interesting stat this morning that simultaneously touches on the topics of "good start for the first quarter" and "good ones the Yankees wish they still had":

     Bartolo Colon currently has a 2.82 ERA ... which puts him in the Top 10 for the AL.

Beats the hell out of Sonny Gray.

KD said...

It pains me that Didi does not make this list after his blistering start. this is what happens when a fine player hits some long balls then decides he's the reincarnation of the Bambino. Few are talking (that I have noticed) about Didi's slumping, as if not talking about it will somehow makes things better. In the last 15 games, DiDi is .097 average, .152 OBP AND .129 Slugging. Ouch

The other day the Yankee spin Meisters posted an article hawking Didi's chances for MVP. Really? Such talk can only make things worse, IMO.

JM said...

I realize the Cano thing has come and gone, but there's a short article on ESPN's site about Tex's reaction on-air:

"Yeah, I don't really want to get into too much detail. I love Robbie. I'm just not surprised," said Teixeira, a baseball analyst for ESPN since retiring after the 2016 season. "I don't really want to go too much further, but I think a lot of people are kind of saying the same thing."

Later in the article, Tex explains the Biogenesis connection.

Don'tcha know.

KD said...

didn't the Yanks dump Cabrera because they knew he was juicing and getting too close to Cano? Maybe the bad influence was actually Robbie and the Yankees made a calculated decision which player to dispose of.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I always suspected Tex of the same—maybe one reason why he's not surprised.

He's zipping along, great power, high average, even gets it up to .358 during his third of a season with the Angels. He signs his big deal with the Yankees, has a terrific first year, and then—

Sure, all players decline, some faster than others. But Tex's was dramatic. 102 OPS points, just between his first and second seasons with us. And then, even lower numbers and constant injuries.

It's the classic juicer profile.

Sure, he contributed. Still played an outstanding first base, hit with considerable power, got on base. Had a good little comeback season at 35.

But overall...

This was a guy who went from .943 OPS in Atlanta and .901 in Texas, to .823 in New York.

Sure, it could've been age and bad luck. It also could've been somebody deciding to get off the juice and spare his body after cashing in on the humongous contract.

Who can say for certain? But if he did, it's a bit of fraud, not just on the Yankees but on all of us.

Anonymous said...

There are no Astros on that list. Last year they had three starters. Jose Altuve, Carlos Correa, and George Springer.

This doesn't give me great comfort however.

In reading the Post today in an article about this team and the 1998 team, Bernie Williams was saying how balanced the 1998 team was. It's possible that the Astros are constructed that way now. He also said pitching, pitching, pitching was the key to the 1998 team which, as Duque mentioned, are all Astros, Astros, Astros.

So we need pitching. (Pitching, Pitching.) And, as they like to say over at River Ave. Blues... My trade proposal sucks but...

Since trading with the Mets for DeGrom or Snydergaard is a long shot I wonder if there isn't a three team deal that can be done where we don't get them but pick up someone that is one tier below plus a future centerfielder (from the third team) in exchange for sending the Mets Sonny Gray and two of our better prospects (plus they would get something from the third team.)

Third team gets: DeGrom or Syndergaard
Third team loses: A number two type starter, a AA prospect, a big time AAA prospect.
Upside: They add front-line starter and difference maker.

Yankees Get: Number 2 level starter and AA level hopefully a center fielder (from third team)
Yankees lose: Sonny Gray plus two very good minor league players (Sadly)
Upside: Going from Sonny Gray to a number two type pitcher improves us sufficiently for our playoff run. Plus we need a future center-fielder.

Mets get: Sonny Gray (To take rotation spot. Plus he's young and might yet figure it out and be really good. Basically why we traded for him in the first place), our two guys (both good), and a big time prospect from third team.)
Mets lose: DeGrom or Sydergaard (but they need to rebuild)
Upside: Pitcher with potential and three top tear minor league players. Trade the other one for a similar deal and the Mets are fully reloaded.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

Nearly everyone on this site is grimly determined--to the point of deranged verbal violence gunning down any dissenters, like Brown Shirts on bad acid--to see only the sunny side of sports fandom in general and Yankee fandom in particular. They resolutely ignore the heart of darkness lurking as well in these mindless tribal ardors--you needn't attend a lethal South American soccer riot to get the point--just behold an on-field baseball brawl or the merciless hounding of Bill Buckner over a fucking child's game or the diseased vomitorium of abuse on display from several of duque's pet posters and commenters on this blog.

I won't belabor the point, because I can't express it any better than William Carlos William in this poem "The crowd at the ball game." I was going to say this famous poem, but I'm quite sure that only duque and maybe one or two other regulars out here have seen it before because if this virtual mob of so-called baseball fans hasn't read a single book about the evolution and practice of sabremetrics--the most important development in the understanding of the sport in the past hundred years--I doubt that book reading in general--much less poetry reading--ranks very high on its list of daily activities.

The crowd at the ball game

The crowd at the ball game
is moved uniformly

by a spirit of uselessness
which delights them—

all the exciting detail
of the chase

and the escape, the error
the flash of genius—

all to no end save beauty
the eternal—

So in detail they, the crowd,
are beautiful

for this
to be warned against

saluted and defied—
It is alive, venomous

it smiles grimly
its words cut—

The flashy female with her
mother, gets it—

The Jew gets it straight— it
is deadly, terrifying—

It is the Inquisition, the

It is beauty itself
that lives

day by day in them

This is
the power of their faces

It is summer, it is the solstice
the crowd is

cheering, the crowd is laughing
in detail

permanently, seriously
without thought

TheWinWarblist said...

That was beautiful.

TheWinWarblist said...

So about this Sanchez fellow being the best catcher in baseball? Isn't a catcher supposed to catch the ball? You know, when it's thrown at him?

Rufus said...

I prefer Hesse.

Anonymous said...

Hesse achieved renown as a novelist, not as a poet.

See what I mean?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

"-I doubt that book reading in general-"

See what we mean?

Anonymous said...

See what we mean about what? The sentence you cite is perfectly sound grammatically and semantically. But your mind is a roiling confusion, so you literally have no idea what you're talking about. First you cite Hesse as a counterpoint to a poem even though Hesse was chiefly a novelist, not a poet. Previously you attributed racism to people who have criticized racism. You rant in free-form spurts of verbal violence that are devoid of elementary sense. These are the umistakable signs of the kind of cognitive confusion typical of schizophrenia.

In your comment you write "we"--which "we"? Do you think a malicious psychotic like you speaks for everyone on this blog? Or even for some segment of the blog? You're a deeply diseased soul, in desperate need of counseling. Please go away--get some help before you do some serious harm to yourself or to someone close to you--if one can imagine there is such a person.

Anonymous said...

Oh and Firefly--would you like me to quote from your famous post in which you make it clear that you don't know which teams are in the National League and which in the American League? That will be my policy from now on--every time you rear your ugly head out here, I will post that comment of yours in its entirety until you are shamed into permanent silence and seek some professional counseling for your schizophrenia.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

By we, I mean the majority of people that post here that think you are a total perfect asshole (it's nice to be good at something). You claimed the majority of us can't read, then change the subject.

Puckered, post whatever you want -- that is the policy here. Please include the FIRST time you were insulted here, like the four year old in the back-seat, HE started it! That would be a lame excuse if it were true. Being made up makes it even more pathetic. You are a lying asshole and somehow want to insult everyone here, call the posters a bunch of morons -- yet you still come back? Are you a masochist, or just a mass-hole? I can't recall ONE other poster that ever had a pissing contest with someone here, yet you pick several. I can only conclude that you are a Racist Townie Asshole (tm) of sockian extraction. A pitiable situation.

You really do need to get laid, and with someone else in the room who is not there due to being abducted or paid. I'd suggest hitting on fat drunk girls at the Cask 'n Flagon or fat drunk guys in the south end -- whichever your preference dictates.

TheWinWarblist said...

Rufus, are we going back to acknowledging Puckered?? I thought we were supposed to ignore him? Not that I'm not happy to go back to the mockery. I am. I really like that!

TheWinWarblist said...

Rufus, I have to disagree with you. It is totally fine if Puckered contract another person to have sex with him. As long as it's consensual and no one if harmed, it's fine to visit a sex worker. (And with his personality, it's likely that he's involuntarily celibate.) Not that I've ever had to stoop that low, mind you. I usually have to beat off the women (and sometimes the mens too) with a stick.

Anonymous said...

I have a theory I would like to share with the group.

Let's say you had a popular Yankee blog and possessed considerable writing skills but you always had to dumb it down for the masses.

In addition, you are besieged by inane questions in your mailbox by clueless fans. You hold weekly chats where again no one asks intelligent questions and the level of discourse in the comments is pathetic.

But it is your job so you can't lash out. You can't bemoan the state of fandom, even as you long in your heart to ream out all of these pathetic losers. Knowing that if you did so you would lose your livelihood.

Yet each day this pus builds and builds and you need to release the invective somewhere, at someone or you will go mad. And so you find yourself here. Here where you you can scream to the "It is High" heavens. Release all that contempt, that hatred, that self loathing for not being true to yourself on your blog.

There is only one conclusion that makes any sense. Angry Anon is... Mike Axisa.

It's OK Mike. We understand. Insult away and we will take the hit for all the fans on the internet and talk radio. Rage, rage, against the dying of the light. We can take it. Love your blog BTW. First place I go for hardcore Yankee news.

Doug K.

TheWinWarblist said...

Mike Axisa is Buck's Puckered Hemorrhoid and Buck's Puckered Hemorrhoid is Mike Axisa. Interesting. It'd be even more interesting if I knew who Mike Axisa is. I know! I'l check Castle Connolly!! No one has ever heard of Castle Connolly, but who cares!! It's the thing.

TheWinWarblist said...

This is the WORST. CC is old. How many more ground balls do they think that fat bastard has left in this arm?

TheWinWarblist said...

I am gonna go back to dragging my teeth along the curb.

Rufus T. Firefly said...


"Rufus, are we going back to acknowledging Puckered??"

I'm tempted to acknowledging him by -fuck off racist townie asshole- every post, but feel that is too mild.

As far as the pay for performance thing, I was just teasing since I doubt his mom's allowance would cover it.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Ryne Duren. I guess I am old!!

Anonymous said...

WinWarblist, we know for sure, is an incompetent doctor whose peer group rates him as a shitty doctor--because he is not listed in Castle Connolly--and kills patients with misdiagnoses. No need to make wild conjectures about that.

Anonymous said...

Ha--now the blog psychotics have a new hobby--obsessing about my identityand venturing comical guesses about it--all further evidence of their mental/emotional sickness and essential stupidity. You'd think some of these scummy attack dogs would occasionally post something of interest about baseball. The only thing that animates them is malice.


Anonymous said...

In fact, WinWarblist is SUCH a shitty, incompetent doctor, he had never heard about Castle Connolly until I brought it to his attention a few days ago.

Seriously--you need to retire before you kill anyone else. I'm sure that even a disgraced incompetent like you can find work bagging groceries. At least you wouldn't be putting anyone's life in danger.

Anonymous said...

Firefly--you conducted a scientific poll about who considers whom an asshole? Donald Trump won the presidential election. George Wallace won the governorship of Alabama, more than once. You think the "compact majority" is always right? You're a proud member of a howling wolf pack and make that your criterion of ethical judgment? You're a fucking moron who has obviously never picked up a book on philosophy--or anything else, for that matter. I bet it's been years since you read a book of any kind. You don't think--you just burble like a mental patient.

Look--that's a matter of subjective judgment. From the surreal splatter of the content of your posts, it's incontrovertible that you are a schizophrenic with severe cognitive/emotional problems that require professional attention.

You are a danger to yourself and others. Stop splattering your incoherent rage and malice over this blog and seek some counseling before it's too late.

Anonymous said...

Hey Killer Doc--no one has ever heard of Castle Connolly except every major hospital in the country, which actively cites its best doctor ratings in their doctor bios and in their hospital advertising and promotions (see extensive citation of the Castle Connolly listings in the New York Presbyterian link below). No one has ever heard of Castle Connolly except the likes of New York magazine, one of the most important publications in the country, which uses its best-doctor listings as the basis for its annual "Best Doctors" issue.

Until I brought it to your attention, you had not heard of it because you're fourth-rate piece of shit incompetent who is lucky not to have had your license suspended by now.

Clear enough, asshole? And it's obvious from the erratic pattern of your posts, their odd obsessive quality and the strange hours of posting, that you have a serious drinking problem. Get help.

Anonymous said...

NYU Langone cites Castle Connolly "top doctor" ratings in its press release:

Anonymous said...

Mount Sinai of New York proudly cites the Castle Connolly listings of their doctors in a press release--that makes three of the top hospitals in the world that cite the prestigious Castle Connolly top-doctor listings--listings in which you will never espy the name of the incompetent, drunken killer doc who plagues this blog:

Anonymous said...

Hey Firefly--can you close your eyes and tell us which teams are in the American League and which are in the National League? Do tell, Mr. Sputtering Psycho retard. "Racist townie"? That's just psychotic gibberish--I'm serious--you need some kind of radical medical intervention. If Killer Doc weren't as diseased as you, he would be recommending that you get help as well.

People laughed at Groucho Marx because he was a genius.

People laugh at you because you are a miscreant from hell. So they might cough up their dinner after they finish laughing at you.

Anonymous said...

Rufus T. Firefly: " I'd suggest hitting on fat drunk girls at the Cask 'n Flagon."

Duque--are you proud to have diseased vermin like this on your little bandwagon? Never feel the urge to clean house a bit? I mean seriously--you tolerate all manor of sexist and racist spew and vile abuse as though you harbor no responsibility for the contents of your blog.

There are just four people who form the core of the living dead who try to ostracize anyone who they feel is not subservient to some imagined party line: Rufus T. Firely, LBJ, WinWarblit, and the other anon. Yet you tolerate their endless flow of venom as though your hands are tied. They are not. Do something, or the only participants left in this philistine hate-fest will be you, Alphonso, those four, and the crickets.

Anonymous said...

all manner, not all manor--correcting the auto-correct.

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