Friday, May 18, 2018

What the Yankees Did in DC

Aaron Judge: No, man, I didn't go by the Supreme Court. God, that is such a stereotype! I don't even think the Court is in session. It's "the first Monday in October," dude. Get a clue!

Gary Sanchez: I was feeling a little down about the passed balls and everything, so I went out to the Rock Creek Cemetery to commune for awhile with the Clover Adams memorial there. You know, her husband, Henry Adams, put that up shortly after her death and it's just very moving, very consoling to be there. I like to do it whenever I feel low. Some guys prefer the Serenity Statue, but I think that's just a bunch of shit.

Giancarlo Stanton: I always like to go to the House of Congress. Whattaya mean there are two houses of Congress? There's the dome and that one house on the left, that's it.

Aaron Judge: If you must know, I went to the National Post Office Museum. Man, I could spend hours just staring at that Inverted Jenny. How could they make a mistake like that? Weird.

Didi Gregorius: As a titled citizen of another country, I was of course received at an official state dinner at the White House. The Big Macs were delicious!

C.C. Sabathia: Whenever I'm in Washington, I grab Gardy and we go down and picket the Capitol over our particular hobbyhorse. We march around it with our signs, chanting, 'Hey hey!/ Ho ho!/ FCC has got to go!' Someday, after push has come to shove, they'll realize we were right. Those alive to see that day will wish they had never been born.

Aaron Judge: No, man, I didn't go to the DC Appellate Court, either. Or to the Justice Department, or the FBI Museum. Jesus, why would you ask that? That's it, just fuck off!







4 comments:

Wezil1 said...

Serious question: do you think Aaron Judge curses?

JM said...

That's a good question. I think he does. Never in front of a mic, of course, since he's from the Jeter School of Image Management.

KD said...

really big people often develop mild personalities, otherwise they are just too intimidating to regular people.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I suspect he says "darn" and "gee willikers" a lot.

He does seem to be filled with joy, and is always trying to get some little prank going in the dugout. Hope he stays that way.