Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Scranton will soon field a decent MLB team

Chock with rehabbing talent, this could be next week's lineup card for the famed Traveling Wilkes-Barres of Triple A:

ss Tyler Wade
3b Brandon Drury
lf Clint Frazier

1b Greg Bird

rf Billy McKinney
dh Adam Lind
c  Kyle Higashioka
cf Shane Robinson

2b Abiatal Avelino
sp Daniel Camarena
rf Tommy Kahnle

If we figure Bird and Frazier could each belt 30 HRs in a season, that Adam Lind is good for 20, that Drury and McKinney are solid table-setters, and that we've still not seen the real Tyler Wade, you're looking at a team that could give the Orioles, Reds, Padres, Marlins and White Sox - tankers already planning for 2021 - a run for their luxury tax Mallo Cup coupons.

Add a returning Justus Sheffield, a promoted Dillon Tate and a rewired Chance Adams, and you've got the Tampa Bay Debit Rays and maybe the 19-18 crosstown Mets, give or take a rehabbing Duke Carmel or Ron Swoboda. And, holy shit! have we even contemplated the potential impact of Jacoby Ellsbury on the race for the International League Governor's Cup? The Chief could be Scranton's team captain!

Okay, the point here is that the Yankees have set themselves up with ascending talent in every position, except maybe starting pitching - but, hey, isn't that the story of human civilization? And though we shall never forgive the supreme insolence of his disastrous Sonny Gray-like deals, the man behind our resurgence is Cooperstown Cashman. Love him or hate him, he is baseball's executive of the hour. 

As we roll into the season's second quarter, let's ponder the game's biggest spenders. 

This morning, only the Angels and Yankees are leading their divisions. The Cubs are sinking, the Dodgers stink like a plate of bad clams, and the Nats are already secretly eyeing the world after Bryce Harper. We, on the other hand, have more than $20 million to piss away in contracts at the trade deadline, if we choose to hit the August 1 Bloat Buffet. And truth is, we'll probably be better off promoting from within. 

In simple terms, we are running barefoot through a field of nipples. So... a thought: How about let's enjoy this mini ecstasy trip and not fight over bullshit? I'm almost sensing an inverse relationship between the Yankees winning and the number of fights in the comments section. Without Cashman to rage at, are we predisposed to scream at each other? 

Listen: Three weeks ago, we were nearly unanimous in thinking Giancarlo Stanton might be a NYC disaster, the ex-Marlin who couldn't handle a pennant race. Now, he could be on the verge of a career year. Every time I see him come to bat, his average is up a few points. The Yankees have lost a boatload of players to injuries, yet they now lead the division. How bad is that?

Two days ago, Jogginson Cano broke a bone in his hand. He'll be unable to mosey out grounders for at least a month. Seattle has nobody to play 2B. Would the Mariners like to take a flier on Tyler Wade? They'd have to make it worth our while. He's not Nick Rumbelow. But a few 18-year-old Domingo Germans might work. 

Listen: The older I get - and I am fucking up there - the more critical it becomes to appreciate every day when your team is in first place. 

We are in first place, and I think we're going to stay there. Boston may be the second best team in baseball. But they'll have to play the one-game Wild Card. It's a helluva difference. Let's enjoy this.


Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...

Something maybe you did not know: In 2017, the Evil Sox led the AL by making 81 outs on the bases (i.e., running into tag plays).

Thus far in 2018, the total is 19. In 25% of a season. They're improving!


13bit said...

I'm trying to live in the moment.

TheWinWarblist said...

Mmmmm ... I'm dreaming of some hot Bryce action in the outfield ... Mmm-Mmm-MMMM! Never have to worry 'bout Hicksey again ...

HoraceClarke66 said...

I know. I'm almost...happy.

Something bad is coming.

Alphonso said...

Dear Dr. Feelgood;

Have you noticed that it is May 15th?

And we have seen the real Tyler Wade.

Try adding a complete pitching staff to the Scranton wonder team, and see who you favorably compare us with.

It is May 15th.

Big game tonight.

Publius said...

RailRiders need a talent infusion. 3 games under .500, 6 behind hated rival Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs...the twin cities (Scranton and Wilkes Barre) aren't accustoned to this kind of mediocrity. Cash is going to have make sone moves soon.

TheWinWarblist said...

Alphonso, bringing the high hard stinky juju! Bring that filthy nasty stuff! Bring it!

TheWinWarblist said...

"In simple terms, we are running barefoot through a field of nipples." That's beautiful man. Moving, truly moving.

Unsustainable BABIP said...

Greetings from Charlotte Int’l Airport. Sorry I’ll miss the visit to Nationals Stadium ((I live in the DC area, but duty, in the form of an all-expenses paid trip to Gainesville Florida, calls).

In case it’s not yet been widely reported, I read today that Cano may be suspended for 80 games for using PEDs. I hope no one trips over the schadenfreude as he scampers through the nipples.