Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Holiday Songbook #1

With Thanksgiving in our rear view mirror it's time to open the Yankee Holiday Songbook. 

We begin the season with a warning to our tight fisted front office. 

And a one... and a two... and a strike three looking. 

Steven Cohen is Coming To Town  

(Santa Claus is Coming to Town)

Hal better look out
And likewise for Bri.
The city’s in doubt  
I'm telling you why.
Steven Cohen is Coming To Town.

Oh, he’ll sign from the top
of the free agent list.
While you bottom feed
Are you getting the gist?
Steven Cohen is Coming To Town!

He’s got a ton of money
He’s got the will to win.
It is his childhood fantasy.
And he’s itching to begin.

So, Hal, pony up
and get us a ring.
Or lose the back page
While the whole city sings…
Steven Cohen is Coming 
(Your cheapness is numbing.)
Steven Cohen is Coming 
(Your fan base is bumming.)
Steven Cohen is Coming To Town! 


el duque said...

"It's beginning to look a lot like lockdown,
"Everywhere you go..."

Publius said...

I really can't pay (Hal, please sign DJ)
He's old and in the way (Hal, please sign DJ)
These two years have been (where'd we be without him?)
so very nice (the Machine has a price)

My accountant will start to worry (Hal, take a shot at glory)
My father was a boor (winning 6 titles is a chore)
So, really, I'm so sorry (Hal, you're starting to scare me)
But maybe Gary will be restored (I'm sinking slowly to the floor)
Cash seems to think (yep, it's that bad in here)
Wade is on the brink (and Gardy forever I fear)

I wish I knew how (you could fire Cash now)
to keep him and Judge (you print money but won't budge?)
I must say no, no, no sir (at least get a different closer)
At least I can say I tried (and destroyed all your fanbase's pride)

I really can't pay
(Make the fucking deal!)
Hal, please sign DJ!!!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Brilliant, Publius!

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