It's time to do something about Clint Frazier

If I were kidnapped, waterboarded and forced at gunpoint to sum up the 2021 Yankee season in one hard image, it would be Clint Frazier watching strike three float across  the plate like a Popeyes' chicken dinner.

It's a brain worm, a recurring loop, a form of PTSD that torments me in the night. It's the Babadook. Clint and I watch that ball together. Sometimes, it zips a corner of the zone. Sometimes, it just hangs in the air, the way the U.S. Navy describes UFOs, or historians describe the Spice Girls. But Frazier always watches. He doesn't swing. The ump calls him out. Then Clint trudges back to the dugout, looks to the skies, shakes his head and makes a grin-grimace, like Capt. Kirk surrounded by Tribbles. 

Once, he said something to the ump and got booted. Later, the Gammonites reported that Frazier's ejection was the first in his pro career, signifying an unprecedented slump. 

Last night, Clint came up with two outs and Brett Gardner on third, following an electrifying triple, the team's first of 2021. At this point, the game was within reach - considering that we were facing the second-worst starting pitcher in the AL, at least statistically. A single would bring us within a run. Clint assumed his stance and waited, and there it came - the Babadook - in the low-center of the zone. He looked to the heavens, shook his head and grin-winced. 

Frazier is hitting .151. He has 4 HRs, only 7 RBIs, and he has fanned 34 times, third on the Yankees, in 106 at bats. (I should note that he has 18 walks, also third on the team.) Among AL left-fielders, he ranks 23rd out of 25 in OPS. For a guy whose strength was supposed to be hitting, he has been a disaster. 

Time is running out. 

Soon, the Yankees must address the LF sinkhole, where nobody is hitting his weight. (Miguel Andujar is at .120 and Gardy, who is now in center, is .188.) The bottom third of the lineup has become an abyss, and Red Thunder is becoming The Scarlett K. Soon, as depressing as it sounds, Frazier - now 26 - might need to take his great potential to Scranton, to regain his stroke and confidence. He might need a new MLB city. This isn't working. 

For five years now, we've yearned for Frazier to get a shot. In the last two seasons, management always seemed to have higher priorities - Giancarlo Stanton and the Aarons - leaving number 77 an afterthought. It hurts to imagine him in another uniform. But June is around the corner. Unless Frazier starts hitting soon - like, now! - this mind-loop thing is getting us nowhere. 

I AM CALLING FOR A TARGETED JUJU INTERVENTION, BEGINNING TONIGHT, WHEN CLINT FRAZIER COMES TO BAT. WHEREVER YOU ARE, WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING, CEASE AND  DESIST, AND DIRECT ALL YOUR RIZZUTONIC FORCES INTO THE TELEVISION OR BROADCASTING DEVICE, WHICH WILL THEN BE CHANNELED TO THE OUTSKIRTS OF DALLAS, WHERE OUR TECHNICIANS WILL THEN ROUTE THE ENERGY INTO FRAZIER'S APPROPRIATE BODY PART. 

EACH TIME FRAZIER COMES UP, ASSUME YOUR JUJU STANCE AND PROPELL YOUR ENERGY FORCES IN THE DIRECTION OF TEXAS. IF YOU ARE NOT SURE WHERE TEXAS IS, GET A MAP. THIS IS NOT A TEST. THE FUTURE OF CLINT FRAZIER MAY DEPEND UPON WHAT YOU DO. SO, DAMMIT, DO SOMETHING! SWING, BATTAH!