Redsocks should join Shaquile in the Dove Soap campaign, because they are clearly comfortable in their own last place skins

Hey, wow, glorioski! A base hit!

Leave it to the St. Valentine's Dove Men's Care Brigade to take revenge on Baltimore for last September's - uhm - disappointment.

Last night, the Redsocks let it be known in the first inning that Chris Tillman wasn't going to pitch a no-hitter, carving out both a hit and a run... forcing the O's to settle for a 9-1 "victory." Ha! That'll show 'em.

Boston on-field mgmt personality Bobby Vee had predicted his club would play the spoiler role, and he wasn't kidding. In this day and age of shrinking penises and stay-at-home hubbies  it's refreshing to see a last-place team so utterly comfortable in its own skin.

Not only that, but the Boston squat-to-pees are willing to forgive and forget, letting goodbye-gones be goodbye-gones. No sense even trying against Baltimore. Just lay down and sleep. Save it for the Yankees. That way, Boston can have an impact on the race!

I hope owner John Henry has enough money for the AT&T bill - because his team is phoning it in from the Dove Mens Care beauty spa where it is currently playing. This weekend, Kansas City, Toronto, Minnesota and Seattle are actually trying. The Redsocks are preserving themselves for the three-game season that starts Monday. They'll have Pedro Ciraco, the Yankee Killer, and the famed "Twitter Bullpen," (of 140 characters or less.)

Bravo, spoilers! Last night, you sure taught Baltimore a lesson!

NO NO-HITTERS! NOT IN YOUR SKINS! Hey, when's tee-time?