Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Borat: "Jacoby is excited!"

According to his agent, Scott Boras, “Right now [Ellsbury’s] pretty excited. Talked to him yesterday. He feels he’s going to be a major part of what they’re doing,” Boras said. “I think there’s going to be a competition in New York. They have a lot of diamonds in their jewelry store, no question about it. It’s going to be a very healthy environment and Jacoby has done a lot of big things in a lot of big situations in a lot of big cities, so competition does not in any way do anything but exhilarate him.”

Well of course he's excited. He's got a no-trade clause and unless the Yanks REALLY wanna make it worth his while, he'll have great seats to watch the Bombers play this year.

Who wouldn't be excited?


Leinstery said...

Supposedly he's made an offer. PUT DOWN THE FUCKING PHONE COOPS!!!! I want to see Torres and Sheffield and Adams. Poor Clint The Red, no chance he's on the roster at spring training.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I still can't see it happening, despite what the Orioles are saying. The Yanks are in the same division. I predict he goes to Philly, or with the White Sox, though some people are saying the Cardinals.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I love Scott Boras. I wish I could hire Scott Boras to walk around me, and state my case everywhere I go.

"Look, Horace needs that doughnut because he's barely eaten anything today, and he's starting a new exercise regimen right after lunch. Truly! Hey, Horace deserves that extra scotch for all the great stuff he's done today. I saw him help three old ladies across the street, and one of them was blind, or at least had really terrible cataracts. And no, seven scotches are NOT too many. Horace is just getting warmed up. Why, he can easily drink twice that, and still drive home! Now pass the pretzels over to him."

I have an idea for how to deal with Ellsbury, though: he plays every inning of spring training. With extra wind sprints every morning. Considering how frequently he breaks down, I give him a week before he's on the DL.

Anonymous said...

Gosh theses stupid meetings Cant be over fast enough.... Coops is about to vomit all over his progress if these reports are true.... Someone please send a virus to his phone this is ridiculous...


Carl J. Weitz said...

I think the Cards and the Giants are both looking for leadoff type guys. If the Yankees pay all but 27-30 million they should do it.

Hey, maybe that no-trade clause is only valid regarding MLB. Perhaps they can trade Ellsbury and pay the majority of his remaining salary to the Nippon Ham Fighters for one of the sushi-makers at the concessions. After posting Ohtani, they might be looking for a star.

Anonymous said...

What's it feel like, to be the only person on this planet to "love" Bore-Ass, Horace?? His own Mommie don't love him. Sure would feel better, though, after seven scotches, I'm betting...hell, it wouldn't even take FOUR scotches to make me get down on my knees - - bad as they are - - and sa-LAAAM!!

Like your idea, Carl - - Coops the Cash-Puss really, really oughta' look into it. LB (No J)

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