Monday, December 11, 2017

Mr. Cashman, fix this....

It's Day III of our Mardi Gras pool party, and I'm still blissfully incapable of pondering the mountain of lettuce, dough, clams skamoots, keegers, graboooshki, GLAHBOINKA!... to be paid to Giancarlo Monte Carlo over the next 11 years, and its future impact on Hal Steinbrenner's sense of well being. When Aaron Judge outhits Stanton, won't he rightfully demand $35 million per season? And when Red Thunder does it... well... at what point would the House of Hal - like the Jeterian Marlinverse - start to implode and choke on its own hubris? 

Oh, fukkit... that's a question for future winter mornings. Here in Syracuse - the Scranton of New York! - the army of the dead is too cold to attack. For now, let's just keep the vodka luge frozen and simply tell Cooperstown Cashman to get on his phone and tell CC Sabathia there's no bottom to Hal's fanny pack, and that whatever the Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim want to pay, the Emp of Evil will offer a dollar more, plus coupons for Bed Bath and Beyonce.

This has become a month of surprises - Ohtani, Stanton and now - yeesh -Sabathia leaving? At Thanksgiving, it was a given that he'd return, and though he's old and factory-scratched, CC is a series regular with a great backstory, and this is no time to write him out of the plot. Moreover, to now plead poverty, after taking on perhaps the most onerous contract in the history of sport - (what were the Philistines paying Goliath, because he sure spat the bit) - will sound mighty lame. The Yankees just pulled off a bank heist, getting Stanton at a garage sale. But having hooked the giant marlin, now it's time to gently reel it in. 

I don't want the Yankees to sign Alex Cobb at some ridiculous price. It's time to give Chance Adams - 11-5, 2.89 last year at Scranton - a shot. And if he fails, then Justus Sheffield, and then Domingo Acevedo, and then Domingo German, et al. But in October, Sabathia made it clear he wanted to return to the Bronx. If the Yankees let him walk, shame, shame, shame... and you can almost feel the good vibes beginning to drain.


13bit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alphonso said...

Not so confident about Domingo German. On the plus side, he physically resembles Luis Severino.

On the minus side, he pitches like Severino did in his first year or so at the MLB level.


All things considered, maybe a prospect after all.

Sorry everyone, just wasting time until the tree is selected.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Meanwhile, apparently Stanton came to town, toured the Stadium, and passed his physical.

He also presented the Yankees with a multi-page questionnaire, to be answered in English and Spanish, detailing how they plan to fit him into the lineup, what their plans are for the future, and what the New York community has to offer.

Kidding, kidding! Makes you think, though, doesn't it, how little blowback Ohtani got for that?

ranger_lp said...

Unfortunately, CC is a 4 inning pitcher now. We're trying to win a World's Championship. It's a fact of life...Gerrit Cole looks like will be a Yankee.

Leinstery said...

Domingo German is poop.

And I think you just hit the foundation of the Stanton Homerun call. Giancarlo hits it to Monte Carlo. The Master will work out the rough edges.

13bit said...

"Stanton" rhymes with "Scranton"


el duque said...

Wow. If Stanton ends up sucking, we can call him "Giancarlo Scranton."

Or even better, "Giancarlo Scranton-Wilkes Barre."

He better not suck.

Leinstery said...

An insight into the mind of a madman/once in a lifetime genius

HoraceClarke66 said...

I think Leinstery is on to something:

"Another home run for the man who broke the bank—Giancarlo!"

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