Mr. Cashman, fix this....

It's Day III of our Mardi Gras pool party, and I'm still blissfully incapable of pondering the mountain of lettuce, dough, clams skamoots, keegers, graboooshki, GLAHBOINKA!... to be paid to Giancarlo Monte Carlo over the next 11 years, and its future impact on Hal Steinbrenner's sense of well being. When Aaron Judge outhits Stanton, won't he rightfully demand $35 million per season? And when Red Thunder does it... well... at what point would the House of Hal - like the Jeterian Marlinverse - start to implode and choke on its own hubris? 

Oh, fukkit... that's a question for future winter mornings. Here in Syracuse - the Scranton of New York! - the army of the dead is too cold to attack. For now, let's just keep the vodka luge frozen and simply tell Cooperstown Cashman to get on his phone and tell CC Sabathia there's no bottom to Hal's fanny pack, and that whatever the Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim want to pay, the Emp of Evil will offer a dollar more, plus coupons for Bed Bath and Beyonce.

This has become a month of surprises - Ohtani, Stanton and now - yeesh -Sabathia leaving? At Thanksgiving, it was a given that he'd return, and though he's old and factory-scratched, CC is a series regular with a great backstory, and this is no time to write him out of the plot. Moreover, to now plead poverty, after taking on perhaps the most onerous contract in the history of sport - (what were the Philistines paying Goliath, because he sure spat the bit) - will sound mighty lame. The Yankees just pulled off a bank heist, getting Stanton at a garage sale. But having hooked the giant marlin, now it's time to gently reel it in. 

I don't want the Yankees to sign Alex Cobb at some ridiculous price. It's time to give Chance Adams - 11-5, 2.89 last year at Scranton - a shot. And if he fails, then Justus Sheffield, and then Domingo Acevedo, and then Domingo German, et al. But in October, Sabathia made it clear he wanted to return to the Bronx. If the Yankees let him walk, shame, shame, shame... and you can almost feel the good vibes beginning to drain.