Yanks talk a big game, but recent events whisper desperation

While you quarantine, Yank scouts are combing the globe for quality arms. Check out the spin-rate on this prospect! (And note how the catcher has adopted Gary Sanchez' blocking style.)

Bada-boom. But seriously, folks... don't dig in.

Between now and February, the earthquake is coming. Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman will unleash a series of trades, spinning the Yankiverse on its axis. It has to happen. In  their current incarnation - with or without DJ LeMahiue - the Yankees are an airplane with seven wings and one propeller. Recent events look like the minor tremors that foretell The Big One. 

Over the last 48 hours...

1. The Yanks signed Adam Warren. Yes, that Adam Warren. Our old pal, our prodigal son. He's now 33, speckled with salt, and hasn't pitched since June of 2019, back when Trump was kissing Kim Jung-un. He's had Tommy John surgery. (Hasn't everyone?) He'll be ready for spring training. It's like the return of Thanos: In the Yankiverse, does anybody ever die?

2. The Yanks signed Matt Bowman. He's a 29-year-old ex-Reds/Cardinals lug nut who also missed last year due to Dr. TJ. We signed him for two years - minor league deal, of course - because he won't be ready until August. Bowman's best year came in 2016, when he threw 67 innings with a 3.46 ERA. Why not? Remember Jon Lieber?

3. The Yanks signed Nestor (Octavio) Cortes Jr. Remember Nasty Nestor? He's back after a brutal sojourn through Seattle. He's 26, a lefty, and throws from a thousand trajectories. Over the years, he's been bombed like Beirut, but he's my Pick-6. Cortes is a Mysterio, a low arm-strength/high guile type who survives on deceptiveness. Did I mention he's a lefty? He's the one most likely to perfect a pitch and turn into Randy Choate. 

4. Aaron Boone talked up the staff. You know things are bad when Boone is saying otherwise. He said:

“I’m certainly excited about the people we have behind Gerrit Cole from a depth stand point from a number of young guys getting opportunities to pitch this year and showing promise...You’ve got to be prepared to go in with what you have, and we’re really excited with some of things we were able to see from the development.”

Baghdad Bob, right? Nothing screams "RUN FOR THE HILLS!" like the reassuring presence of the fatherly Boone. When done with baseball, he should get a cable TV show and predict the stock market. We'll all get rich, doing the opposite of what he says. 

So, whaddaya glean here? Well, it's not even Christmas, but Cashman is touring the garage sales, looking for anything with a pulse. And cheap. Did I mention cheap? Yep, cheap is the new normal. Our rotation is dismal, LeMahiue remains unsigned, and Hal Steinbrenner is already poor-mouthing. Cheap.

Soon, LeMahieu will make his choice. At that point, the earth will move. In the meantime, we'll search for guys who can throw the 85-mph penny-loafer.