'98 Yanks rally to tie All-Time Yankee series with '51 team

Series tied: 2-2
Knobby, Jeet, sparkplugs!
Gil takes El Duque downtown!
In dramatic appearance, Joe D ignites stadium!
Mo flubs lead, then comes through!
Billy fails!
Next up: Vic Raschi v David Cone!
REMATCH!

Saturday, January 9, 2021

Cashman's in-your-face response to Mets buying spree: Jhoulys Chacin!

HOLY JEEPERS CRIMINY CRAP! I JUST SAW ON THE MAGIC LIGHT MACHINE THAT THE YANKEES HAVE SIGNED JHOUYS-

Aw, does any of this matter? Never have I seen America so divided, so colossally fucked, and I'm prehistoric enough to recall John Birch, George Wallace and Tail Gunner Joe McCarthy. Perhaps naively, I always thought something as crazy as fealty to a baseball team - surpassed only by the love of a moose for his flying squirrel - could salve our divisions: That were I stuck in a grocery line behind someone diametrically opposed to my politics, we'd still agree that Gary Sanchez needs to go. Now, shit, I dunno. 

I think the juju gods, like the Capital Police force, have fled the barricades. That means we have to hold the line. Together. Okay? Remember: If we splinter and fall apart, that's the what the Redsocks want...

- CHACIN! YEAH, BABY! TAKE THAT, METS! JHOULS FUCKING CHACIN! 

Okay. I just took my pill. Why, it was only 2018 - twenty eighteen - when Jhoulys F. Chacin was opening day starter for the Milwaukee Bucks Brewers, and he went 15-8 that year. Yowzer. Back in 2018, he was pretty good! Pretty pretty pretty good!

He's only 33. That's young. If we discard the last two years - and hell, 2020 doesn't count - Chacin is only one year away from being a solid starter. And if we figure 2019 was a mulligan - hell, everybody gets a mulligan - he's coming off a great year! In fact, if you close your eyes and mumble the name, he's could be Second Coming of Shawn Chacon, the Hispanic guy from Anchorage, Alaska. Back in 2005, Chacon went 7-3 for the Yankees and started Game Four of the ALCS against the Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim California! And the Yankees won that game! 

Jhoulys Chacin, everybody. Take that, Steve Cohen! 

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are correct. This country is hopelessly fractured. The Rubicon has been crossed. The attempt to silence any conservative discourse will drive it underground where it will fester until there is a volcanic eruption. Batten down the hatches and buckle your seatbelts. It will be brother against brother like the 1860's. How many General Lees will leave the service and join the confederates? Most of the people in Congress ran like scared rabbits, what do you thing their soy boy followers will do? All of the people who talk about the sedition and the insurrection have forgotten the this country was founded in violence against a sitting government. BLM nonviolent protests? As The Who sang, "We won't be fooled again" Not advocating any violence, just posing honest questions. You are correct, the Yankees do not matter anymore.
Godot.
I know that you will censor this, which may well prove my point.

Anonymous said...

Tricked you into not censoring. Now just waiting for the wailing and gnashing of teeth
Godot

ranger_lp said...

Might as well change the name of the Yanks to Dumpster Divers. Maybe Iron Container can be given naming rights to the Stadium too...

el duque said...

Hah. We didn't censor it, thus debunking your point.

(You know what would really be cool? If we DID censor it, and then I claimed we had debunked your claim of censorship, by not censoring it. Wow. I should work for the CIA.)

Mustang said...

"Tricked you into not censoring..." The easiest way to win at 3-D chess is to be the only person playing the game.

JM said...

Exactly what Cashman is doing, Mustang. Let all the other GMs make big moves, sign big stars, assemble an effective pitching staff and hitters who actually can hit. We've got Jhoulys. And Jhoulys is the coolest.

Anonymous said...

should el duque be in the CIA? In my work prior to retiring, I worked in law enforcement and criminal justice virtually exclusively over 40 years, and honestly, the collectively worst, or least effective were the Federal alphabet agencies, FBI, CIA, IRS, Teasury, the Federal Courts with all their associated tentacles. We used to call them the "Feebs." They had the most resources and got the least results. Loved to actually do a trial against them, they thought they they would just throw their briefcases down and win; that we and our clients would cower. Well, this rube beat them more than I lost.
Layers and layers of bureaucrats; mid- managers hired laterally from Elite colleges with absolutely no background in what they were to do. They yielded unlimited power by the shear weight of what they could bring to bear. Also, impossible to fire or motivate to work because of civil service. I used to call the US Attorney's Office on a Friday at 12:30 and leave a message about a case for an AFA and most times they did not get back to me because they were gone for the day. seldom called back on Monday either, cuz well, just cuz. Then I would tell the Judge that I left a message and no-one got back to me. That was always worth some entertainment. Incredibly, these duffs seldom caught on, especially the ones from the NYC office(s).
Some agents were none the less extraordinary, like the DNA and the "high target" terrorist agents. They rose above the cesspool because the alphabets needed results in order to keep a semblance of competency. Maybe 8% of any of them were and are worth the price of a game-worn Toledo Mud Hens jersey. DC is a Swamp, I knew it in the 80's, I just did not have a name for it. So many of them are truly worthless but believe that they are superior. End of politics, but the Yankees are simply trite these day anyhow.
Godot

Local Bargain Jerk said...


"Tricked you into not censoring. Now just waiting for the wailing and gnashing of teeth"

Godot


HoraceClarke66 said...

Yeah, "end of politics" until you choose to write about it again, God-o. That's really choice.

I won't be drawn into it again, except to say go fuck yourself forever, and let that stand.

I suggest we stick with baseball, depressing as that is.

Publius said...

Don't forget about Greg Allen. Two Ofers in a row or an error for Frazier, and Allen will get a month of starts in left.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

You want to get off topic (the Yankees that is)?

How about bucking Joe Fuck* on the football ('merican style that is) games?

How bad can he suck and still keep his job?


*that's what his screen name is on Grindr. Hint: He's a wide receiver.

HoraceClarke66 said...

The Allen trade really was quietly terrible. Letting a promising lefty get away for that?

Could it be that Brain is losing his one talent?

Anonymous said...

Hey Godot--no one gives a shit about your nostalgia for Confederate generals who shed the blood of thousands of young men to keep black people in chains. No one gives a shit about your high-school dick-swinging about your Lancelot exploits in the criminal courts. No one gives a shit about your confusing uprising against oppression with a reactionary fascist gang that seeks to reinforce racial and class oppression. You're a babbling idiot, a sad anachronism who is SO PROUD to live in the only industrialized country where people die because they can't afford to see a doctor. Fuck off, and stay fucked off, you callous piece of shit.

Anonymous said...

Horace, your witty retort has cut me to the marrow of my bones. Obviously your anatomical reference to me and my eternal condition has given me pause to question every intellectual position which I have held over my entire adult life. Your scolding and analysis has now made me open my eyes and I am now a Progressive where all is love and peace . Thank you Horace69
Godot

13bit said...

I also won't engage with death cult members, but I will post this, paraphrased from a cartoon:

Public Service Announcement”

The right to free speech means the government can’t arrest you for what you say.

It doesn’t mean that anyone else has to listen to your bullshit or host you while you share it.

The 1st Amendment doesn’t shield you from criticism or consequences.

If you’re yelled at, boycotted, have your show canceled, or get banned from an internet community, your free speech rights aren’t being violated.

It’s just that the people listening think you’re an asshole.

And they’re showing you the door.

TheWinWarblist said...

Bitty, I see what you did there.

Is ALL CAPS still with us?




Die Hal.

Rufus T. Firefly said...


mr. bit, you continue to be a silver tongued devil. I fear it may be lost on the intended audience, but hope I am wrong.

Now I have to clean the counter from the coffee I just spit all over it reading your post.

JM said...

Bit, that is great. Well put.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Dear God-O

Please refer to my previous missive.

Thank you.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Okay, I have it on good authority that Godot is really Q-Anon. At least he's a Yankee fan.
Who knew? Old Q is laughing all the way to the bank selling his mugs, tee-shirts and secrets to low-information, low-IQ suckers much the way Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and now Joel Osteen cons their viewers to send in donations. Some for 20 years or more. You aren't rich yet by the law of threefold? Well, maybe God doesn't like you enough cheapskate. Send in more money!