Conversations With Myself - Can We Win it all in 2021?

ME:  I saw that the Blue Jays signed Springer.

ALSO ME:  That’s great! Now they will be too preoccupied arguing with each other over who impregnated the waitress who works the seats behind home plate to play well. 

ME:  Not Jerry Springer. George.

ALSO ME:  Oh. Well, that’s not good then. You know, I never liked Jerry. I blame him for 9/11.

ME:  Seriously?

ALSO ME: Yeah. Before Jerry Springer, the media images of America that we broadcast to the world were tough guys like John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. It said, “Don’t mess with us”. 

Jerry Springer showed the world a bunch of fat stupid people arguing over who the baby daddy is. It gave the world the impression that, “We can take these guys. ”

ME:  Baseball…

ALSO ME:  So, big deal, the Blue Jays signed George Springer, in year six they’ll regret it.  Besides, we got DJ back.

ME:  You don’t do irony do you?

ALSO ME: The Yankees will be fine.

ME:  Face it. Toronto got better we got worse. The more I think about it the worse we got. It will take a miracle injury free season from Stanton, Judge, Kluber, Sanchez, and Hicks to be any kind of good.

ALSO ME:  It’s possible. 

ME:  Please, this team is so fragile they should install  a M*A*S*H unit next to Monument Park.   

ALSO ME:  You worry too much.  Toronto has no starting pitching. Also, they might be forced to play in Buffalo this year. Their post game spread will be Beef on Kimmelwicks and Hot Wings. Toss in a few kegs a day of Genny Cream Ale and they’ll self destruct like the Red Sox did.  

ME:  Beef on Wick.  Man, I miss those. A little horseradish sauce…

ALSO ME: Baseball…

ME:  So, can we win it all in 2021?

ALSO ME:  What do you want from me? I know what we’re dealing with.  We’ll have another winning season. What is that like, 47 in a row? We make the Wild Card again. Once the playoffs start it’s a crap shoot. We just need to get hot at the right time. Sanchez is in the best shape of his life, we’ll get him some Prozac,  Devi is the second coming of Pedro, Severino will be back mid-year, German is truly sorry, Frazier got nominated for a Gold Glove, Stanton has something to prove, Hal hasn’t made his ninja move yet…   we’re due damn it, WE’RE DUE!!!!!

ME:  Speaking of due, have you seen the results of Kathy’s pregnancy test? 

ALSO ME:  It wasn’t me.

ME: Well, it wasn’t me…

And we’ll be back, after this…